Bolt from Cavs? That's unreal, LeBron

Maybe John Calipari would be the perfect guy to coach LeBron James, wherever he plays next year. Cal's such a smooth character, he could probably get James eligible to play at Kentucky, at least until the NCAA tournament is over.

The James Derby has long taken on the sickening feel of a high school recruiting war, with James being seen as some kind of self-reflective prize, a veritable slam-dunking trophy to be paraded down Broadway or Michigan Ave., as if to say, we are No. 1 because we have LeBron James, along with everything else. For Cleveland, he is the means of keeping some semblance of civic pride, like the Goodyear Tire factory, only with tattoos and a headband.

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