Thursday, I made note of Iowa guard Devan Bawinkel's "12 trillion," the stat by which Bawinkel played 12 whole minutes of a basketball game without registering a single other statistic, thus giving him the famed trillion pioneered by Ohio State walk-on genius Mark Titus. (You already know about Titus by now, don't you?)
The 12 trillion is a remarkable and unfortunate thing; Titus has clear rules against extending any trillion past three or four minutes because there comes a point when the stat stops being polite and starts getting real, and that's when you realize you're actually just hurting your team. The trillion's not so fun then.
Anyway, both I and Adam Jacobi from Black Heart Gold Pants thought Bawinkel's trillion had to be the longest in history. It's almost impossible to play that many minutes of basketball without committing a foul or taking a shot or dropping a dime, right? Wrong. One intrepid Hawkeye Lounge reader called up a list of recorded trillions, the longest of them being -- get this -- 31 trillion. 31 trillion!
It's true. On Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2001, Mississippi Valley State Delta Devils guard Elvis Robinson played an entire 31 minutes -- second most on his team -- without recording a single stat. 31 trillion. You can see the box score right here. It's ... it's beautiful. It really is.
So feel better, Devan Bawinkel. Your 12 trillion is still quite a feat. But it's a long way to the top if you want to be king of the trillion mountain. Which you don't.