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Ian Kinsler impresses right off the bat

ARLINGTON, Texas -- Someday, they'll learn. At least we should assume they'll figure it out.

You don't throw Ian Kinsler strikes on Opening Day.

Never. Ever.

Understand?

Perhaps, the Chicago White Sox forgot Kinsler led off with a homer against the Boston Red Sox on Opening Day last season and failed to put it in the scouting report.

Or maybe John Danks didn't care that Kinsler, his former teammate within the Texas Rangers organization, entered Friday's game with seven hits on Opening Day, including five for extra bases.

Kinsler doubled, homered and scored a pair of runs in the Rangers' 3-2 win over Chicago on Friday afternoon at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

Kinsler, who now has nine hits -- seven for extra bases -- on Opening Day, helped the Rangers start the season the right way.

In the first inning, Kinsler smashed a 1-0 fastball down the left-field line for a double. Elvis Andrus bunted Kinsler to third, and he scored on Josh Hamilton's sacrifice fly to center.

With two out and none on in the third inning, Kinsler launched a hanging curveball into the left-field stands as the Rangers took a 2-0 lead. At that point, he'd seen seven pitches but had totaled six bases.

"He kind of threw me all of his pitches -- curveball, cutter, fastball, changeup -- in that at-bat," Kinsler said. "He rarely throws his curveball, maybe only twice today, but he left it up in a good place and I tried to hit it."

Pay the man already. That's right, open up the vault and stuff as much cash as possible into as many garbage bags as it takes to make Kinsler happy.

Read more about Kinsler's Opening Day here.