Roy Jones Jr. picks fight with UFC

That clown car that keeps vomiting out clowns -- far more than it could possibly contain? I think of that image whenever I hear of any litigation involving Zuffa. The company has a legion of counsel: row after row of shark-toothed attorneys who make it their business to deliver misery in compact subpoena form. Handy when you want to siphon money from competitors or make a small dent in pirate streams, it's more or less the new strong-arming. Losing plaintiffs or defendants spread the same message: Don't mess with the UFC.

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Ken Shamrock was one of the few who initiated a lawsuit against Zuffa, which is like picking a fight with the guy in the bar who still has his prison-issue pants on. He is now joined by Roy Jones Jr., who according to Fighters Only is suing the promotion for alleged interference with an agreement that Jones' Square Ring promotion had with Roy Nelson. Nelson competed in a March 2009 "March Badness" pay-per-view event promoted and headlined by Jones; according to the suit, Nelson had an agreement with Square Ring that allowed them to match any offer made to the fighter. Instead, Nelson signed with the UFC in summer 2009, leaving Square Ring out of the equation. Jones is seeking $10,000 in punitive damages.

I'm not sure Nelson sold even $10,000 worth of tickets, but whatever. Thinking Jones has a chance in court is a poor bet. The most vicious Zuffa employees don't wear board shorts -- they wear suits.