UFC 103: Belfort bounces Franklin

12:08 p.m. ET: Both men are tentative. They might both be scared of Belfort's hands. Belfort uses a nice little jab kick. This is the kind of round where little things could make a difference. Oh, and it's over: A weird passage with Belfort not connecting too flush, but leveling Franklin and finishing to the side of his head. Just in time.

"Bloodsport" might be on TNT.

Midnight ET: A ringside Jon Fitch is impressed enough with Belfort to take pictures. Both men appear relaxed and collected. Franklin will loop punches and out-gut to a decision. Probably.

11:52 p.m. ET: Backstage, Belfort looks somewhat deflated physically. The goatee isn't helping. Good thing this weight class doesn't even exist.

11:47 p.m. ET: Goldberg and Rogan argue whether "gonads" is a medical term. Mirko is being picked apart. He complains he can't see out of his eye and the fight is called. Either Kimbo Slice restores his confidence or we don't see him again.

11:41 p.m. ET: Mirko is getting the worst of most exchanges. His aggression hasn't been noticeable in years. Toothless. The appeal of seeing him fight again is dwindling. At least he manages to land the most devastating shot in the entire sport: a "Cro Cop" field goal special to the cup.

11:33 p.m. ET: Mirko is dreaming of the days he'd be paid a small fortune to fight Bob Sapp. Dos Santos is faster and hungrier. Maybe Mirko will improve as Dos Santos slows down. As of now, he's not fighting with the savagery one expects from Duran Duran entrance music.

11:31 p.m. ET: Dallas loves Mirko. You'd think it was Yokohama. He seems content to avoid shots rather than go on the offensive.

11:21 p.m. ET: Mirko "Cro Cop" vs. Junior Dos Santos. The tale of two Mirkos: one a mafia assassin with the disposition of a military rifle, the other an erratic semi-geezer who frequently stands around looking bewildered. The revised betting line:

Regular Mirko: -200

Junior dos Santos: +150

Anesthetized Mirko: +300

Junior dos Santos: -220

11:19 p.m. ET: Dos Anjos wins a decision; Emerson wins a week's worth of concern over blood clots.

11:13 p.m. ET: Emerson is one leg kick away from needing a wheelchair to get to the airport. Dos Anjos shows some mercy by taking him down.

11:06 p.m. ET: Rob Emerson and Rafael dos Anjos in footage from earlier in the evening. There's some innuendo that Jean-Claude Van Damme wore a toupee for "Bloodsport." This has really thrown me. Dos Anjos is doing a good job with the leg kicks, Emerson having success with his hands.

10:58 p.m. ET: "When opportunity knocks, you open the door. And Paul Daley burst through the gates of the Octagon …" Goldberg likes to put his metaphors in a blender.

10:52 p.m. ET: Something just occurred: Our version of a Roman Coliseum is a Bud Light floor. Weird. Daley is putting in good work standing. Kampmann tries a takedown but it doesn't stick. Expert analysis by Rogan: "Kampmann needs to get hold of this dude." It's true: Daley gets it stopped. This guy with takedown defense is a serious problem.

10:47 p.m. ET: Daley enters. Bad man standing. Kampmann should slather on some Super-Glue.

10:46 p.m. ET: Martin Kampmann and Paul Daley: This could potentially set up Kampmann for a title fight against Georges St. Pierre, but they'd need a gun fight at the top of the card in order to help draw.

10:43 p.m. ET: Goldberg pretends he hasn't exposed himself to Jenna Jameson's entire filmography by referring to her as "Jenna James."

10:40 p.m. ET: Koscheck being elusive. (It's been weeks since we last heard that word.) Guess he was just waiting for the right time: he puts Trigg out with a hard, hard right. Koscheck calls out Matt Hughes. Can't wait to miss that one.

10:36 p.m. ET: Much effort involved in getting Koscheck's sweatshirt off. Before an extraction-EMT can be called, it's off. Trigg strikes me as the stronger guy, but I think Koscheck catches him in something.

10:33 p.m. ET: Josh Koscheck and Frank Trigg. Who can be more condescending toward the other? It's close. Trigg looks excited to be back. Goldberg mentions he nearly won the welterweight title from Matt Hughes; Rogan reminds him that Trigg had to hit him below the belt to do it. Rogan works very well as Goldberg's ombudsman.

10:30 p.m. ET: Mirko "Cro Cop" gets his hands wrapped. Marriage, wraps, birthday party: expression is the same.

10:23 p.m. ET: The crowd reverses their position when Griffin and Franca begin slamming each other in the head repeatedly. The 5-foot-6 Griffin goes for a high kick. It lands on Franca's thigh. The right hand is more useful: it knocks Franca down, and eventually out. This ends a streak of seven straight decisions for Griffin.

10:20 p.m. ET: The crowd boos Griffin's attrition approach. They badly want to see the man with the purple hair get hurt.

10:13 p.m. ET: At least one Texan is not afraid to write on their obese midsection in Magic Marker. Griffin has Beyonce's thighs. He lands several leg kicks. I sincerely hope Franca's hair is the result of a lab explosion.

10:09 p.m. ET: Much discussion over Franca not making 155. (He was 159 for the weigh-in.) Griffin is actually mouthing the words to "Eye of the Tiger." I'd laugh, if not for the fact that I know every word.

10:07 p.m. ET: Tyson Griffin and Hermes Franca up first. Griffin has earned five Fight of the Night checks in the past couple of years. He should pace himself more. Franca's hair defies description.

10:04 p.m. ET: Goldberg welcomes us to his second UFC in three days. Will his highlights hold up?

10 p.m. ET: Live on pay per view from Dallas, where everything is bigger. And yet there's only one heavyweight fight.

9:51 p.m. ET: Lopez pops his shoulder throwing a punch. He appears very composed for somebody with a bone pointing in a new direction.

9:48 p.m. ET: "Bloodsport's" Italy title? "Without Restriction of Blows." Miller takes the first round by virtue of being aggressive.

9:45 p.m. ET: Jim Miller and Steve Lopez in another taped segment. As barker shows go, this one fares better than watching Floyd Mayweather rollerskate.

9:41 p.m. ET: Escudero takes care of Miller with a nose-crumbling punch to the mug and then a few swatting follow-ups.

9:35 p.m. ET: Efrain Escudero and Cole Miller up. Miller, as usual, has the physique of Stretch Armstrong. Perfect for jiu-jitsu. Both of them beat up Junie Browning. Hard to root against either guy.

9:33 p.m. ET: Rich Franklin appears relaxed-to-nodding in backstage footage. Perhaps he was informed that "Old Vitor" makes only sporadic appearances.

9:26 p.m. ET: Story sinks in an arm triangle from inside Foster's guard, a feat that causes Joe Rogan to actually birth a litter of kittens from cageside.

9:25 p.m. ET: Rick Story vs. Brian Foster in pre-prelim action. "The Horror" Story is fighting like he's desperate for a new nickname. After a round, Q-tips long enough to poke his brain are up the nose to staunch the bleeding.

9:15 p.m. ET: Belfort strolls into the arena and stifles a small cough. The betting line moves 50 cents.

9:13 p.m. ET: Out of breath, adrenalized and foreign isn't a good combination for post-fight talk.

9:12 p.m. ET: Drwal un-erotically asphyxiates McFedries via a rear-naked.

9:10 p.m. ET: "Bloodsport II." What a sick, sick joke. Shame on you, Donald Gibb.

9:09 p.m. ET: McFedries pretends to check out a woman in the crowd, then attacks. Interesting strategy. His chest is already heaving. No
wonder: hasn't seen the second round in forever.

9:07 p.m. ET: A full and unlikely two minutes in. McFedries has Crohn's Disease, an inflammatory bowel disorder, yet it's Tim Sylvia who copped to loading his shorts against Assuerio Silva. Go figure.

9:02 p.m. ET: Drew McFedries vs. Tomasz Drwal is up. More or less guaranteed the fight doesn't last as long as the pre-fight interviews.

9 p.m. ET: So I think I'll just go ahead and order Mayweather/Marquez, and -- oh, say, there's a UFC special on Spike.

8:55 p.m. ET: Killing time before this thing starts. Reading "Bloodsport" trivia. Do you think Forest Whitaker acknowledges he appeared in this movie?

Preamble: If sports bars aren't your thing -- or if the girlfriend is commandeering the remote, leaving you to suffer "Ghost Whisperer" with the ensuing stomach upset -- you can check in here for live updates and observations for tonight's UFC 103 card from Dallas. The undercard special airs at 9 p.m. ET on Spike; the pay-per-view begins at 10 p.m. ET. (Don't listen to Floyd Mayweather: Dallas has not been leveled by nuclear attack.)