Yankees: Still Evil

TAMPA, Fla. -- The Yankees have won a court fight against something called Evil Enterprises, Inc., which wanted to market merchandise using the phrase "Evil Empire." Not so fast, said team attorneys, who successfully argued that the Yankees are the true Evil Empire, having embraced the label hung on them by Red Sox president Larry Lucchino back in 2002 upon learning that the Yankees had signed sought-after Cuban pitcher Jose Contreras.

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Lucchino was widely reported as saying: "The evil empire extends its tentacles even into Latin America." The Yankees liked the tag so much they took ownership of it. Evel Knievel was unavailable for comment.