MIAMI -- We all know that when you have nothing nice to say about something, it's best to say nothing at all. Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury.
So here goes. The New York Yankees lost, 12-2, to the Miami Marlins, by the numbers one of the worst teams in the National League, Tuesday night at Marlins Park. That completed a two-game mini-sweep by the Fish, who now come to Yankee Stadium to try to repeat the insult over the next two days.
It was so bad that their starter, Nathan Eovaldi, gave up eight runs before he could get three outs. So bad that the Yankees offense could manage just four hits off old buddy David Phelps in the first six innings.
So bad that it looked for awhile as if a position player would be pressed into service as a mop-up man, and believe me, a lot of people were hoping it would be Alex Rodriguez, just for the fun of it all.
But there really wasn't much fun in this one, just a game that was over nearly before it started followed by three hours of grinding death march until it finally came to a merciful end three hours and nine minutes after the first pitch.
Now, the Yankees have followed their seven-game winning streak by losing five of their last six. Only bright spot? The Tampa Bay Rays got steamrolled too tonight, meaning they remain a mere game ahead in the AL East standings.
Historically bad: Eovaldi had the worst inning of his career -- and the Marlins had the best first inning in their history -- before many of the fans at Marlin Park had settled into their seats. Eovaldi retired leadoff hitter Dee Gordon -- and then allowed seven straight hits, including a two-run triple to center by Adeiny Hechavarria, as Miami scored eight runs in the inning. To be fair, Eovaldi got little help from his defense: Didi Gregorius bobbled a slow roller by Christian Yelich that was scored an infield hit; Hechavarria's triple looked as if it might be catchable for Chris Young, and Carlos Beltran seemed to give up on Derek Dietrich's double that dropped at his feet in deep right. That was the shot that chased Eovaldi, who got just two outs, one of them the opposing pitcher David Phelps, and was charged with eight earned runs on nine hits. Eovaldi's ERA soared from 4.13 to 5.12 in the inning. It was his shortest outing since he last just two innings, allowing six runs to the Atlanta Braves, while pitching for the Marlins in 2012. And never in Marlins history had they scored eight runs in a first inning.
Put a Cap on it: With Eovaldi unable to get anyone out, Joe Girardi went to his newest long man, Chris Capuano in the first inning and Capuano worked all the way into the fifth, allowing four hits, striking out five and being charged with a pair of runs that were allowed to score by his successor (see below).
It's the thought that counts: Girardi pulled lefty Capuano, who had thrown four scoreless innings in relief of Eovladi, with Giancarlo Stanton coming up with two on and two out in the fifth because he wanted a righty-righty matchup with Chris Martin. But four pitches into the at-bat, Stanton launched a rocket the other way -- his MLB-leading 24th home run -- off the facing of the second deck in right to make it an 11-0 blowout.
Too little too late: The Yankees got a run in the sixth on an RBI single by Brian McCann and another on a double by Mason Williams, who came to replace Brett Gardner when the game got out of hand, in the seventh. They managed just six hits and two runs off Phelps, who clearly won this duel of the traded starters.
Tomorrow: Can't get rid of these Marlins just yet. The Fish pull into the Bronx for two more games beginning Wednesday night, Michael Pineda (7-3, 3.74) vs. RHP Jose Urena (1-2, 4.44), first pitch at 7:05 p.m. ET (YES).