Black and Blue all over: Monday sarcasm

Posted by ESPN.com's Kevin Seifert
CHICAGO -- It's always fun to read the cheap shots and one-liners from newspaper columnists the day after a game as wild as Chicago's 48-41 victory Sunday at Soldier Field. Before jumping on a plane, we wanted to bring you a few of the highlights.

Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune summed up the afternoon nicely:

What a silly, fun, exhausting game this was. If you blinked, you likely missed a blocked punt. If you turned away, you probably missed a muffed punt. If you blinked and turned away at the same time, well, you were better at multitasking than the Vikings, who couldn't seem to think and play special teams at the same time.

Greg Couch of the Chicago Sun-Times had some trouble spitting out nice words on quarterback Kyle Orton:

Kyle Orton is for real. He is the leader of the Bears. I'll need a little more time before going further.

Tom Powers of the St. Paul Pioneer Press heard Minnesota defensive end Jared Allen predict the team would be different when it returns from its bye and couldn't help but mock it:

Gosh, I hope it's the Giants or the Steelers. You know, somebody good. But after listening a bit more, it became clear that he meant the Vikings would look different when they come back from the bye week. That didn't excite me nearly as much. Something about putting lipstick on a pig.

Jim Souhan of the Star Tribune found humor in a throwaway line from coach Brad Childress:

The players acted oddly nonchalant about the loss, and Childress was loathe to criticize anyone, even the punter who dropped, then drop-kicked, the ball. "Accentuate the positive,'' Childress said. "Eliminate the negative." Those are lyrics from a hit song from the 1940s performed by such hip-hop stars as Bing Crosby, Perry Como and the Andrews Sisters. There is a chance that Childress, who coaches edgy young men, may not be reaching his targeted demographic.

We'll bring you more on this game and the rest of the NFC North later today. But first, let's continue our morning roundup:

  • David Haugh of the Chicago Tribune tells the story of Bears defensive back Zackary Bowman, who had a touchdown and interception in his first NFL game. Bowman spent his formative years in Alaska.

  • Green Bay tailback Ryan Grant is slowly rounding into shape, writes Tom Pelissero of the Green Bay Press-Gazette. "We're moving on the right track," Grant said. "I don't feel like I'm doing what I've been doing and what I need to be doing. So, I don't want to say it's back yet because I'm not performing at the level that I need to be. But we're getting better, and I'm going to get better."

  • All things considered, the Packers' 34-14 victory over Indianapolis was everything they could have hoped for, writes Jason Wilde of the Wisconsin State Journal. "That's what it looks like right there," coach Mike McCarthy said. "It's the way you want to go into the bye."

  • Detroit receiver Calvin Johnson had the two longest catches of his career, a 96-yard touchdown and a 58-yard "Hail Mary" reception to end the first half of a 28-21 loss at Houston. But as Tom Kowalski of Mlive.com writes, the postgame question was why the Lions didn't throw his way more.

  • Michael Rosenberg of the Detroit Free Press has some fun with years of Lions incompetence.