EUGENE, Ore. -- Twelve-year-old Charlie Papé recently became internet famous when he asked Oregon coach Mark Helfrich during a postgame news conference if he had any insight into quarterback Marcus Mariota's future plans.
Papé explained to Helfrich that there were four things that mattered at his school, O’Hara Catholic School in Eugene, Oregon, just three miles from Autzen Stadium: Jesus, Girls and Marcus Mariota.
But there was one problem. He only named three.
"The fourth thing was how bad we’re going to beat the next team we play," Pape´ clarified on Wednesday.
It was a minor gaffe in an otherwise spotless delivery of one of the best lines in college football this year.
On Wednesday, Papé and 13 of his fellow schoolmates gathered in the library to discuss a few important topics including what they consider to be the fourth most important thing at O’Hara, any advice they might have for Mariota on whether to go pro or stay for his final year of eligibility, and their thoughts on Florida State.
The answers ranged from incredibly insightful to bizarre, which is what one should probably expect when questioning a group of elementary school students. Now, we give you the wisdom of O’Hara Catholic:
Fourth most important thing: Beating Oregon State.
Advice for Mariota: “I want him to stay because he’s a great player.”
Breakdown of FSU-Oregon: “I just think that Oregon is going to win because I think they’re the better team because Florida State always wins by a field goal and if Marcus doesn’t throw a pick in the fourth quarter I think we’ll win, because that’s normally how [FSU] wins.”
Fourth most important thing: Did I do my homework or not
Advice for Mariota: “I think he should go pro because he won the Heisman. If he hadn’t won the Heisman I’d say he should come back.”
Oregon wins if ... : “If Mariota doesn’t throw any picks, the Ducks play their hearts out and the Ducks beat them.”
Fourth most important thing: Service.
Advice for Mariota: “I’d like if he stayed because he’s really good but I want him to go pro also.”
Fourth most important thing: Being kind.
Advice for Mariota: “That he doesn’t care about the Heisman, he cares about beating Florida State.”
What’s the key to the game: “Not throwing any picks and scoring more touchdowns than [FSU].”
Thoughts on FSU: “Their uniforms look like ugly sweaters.”
Fourth most important thing: Food (specifically, the cafeteria’s French toast and chicken nuggets -- together -- covered in syrup).
Advice for Mariota: “Run the ball but don’t get hurt. And slide, because he never slides.”
What Oregon needs to do to win: “Play hard. Play fast. Do tempo.”
Fourth most important thing: Friendship
Advice for Mariota: “I don’t want him to [go pro], but I think he should because he’s a good role [model] and he’d make the NFL’s image better.”
Thoughts on the FSU matchup: “I think Oregon will win because Jameis is overrated and I think the defense will play well and the offense will have a spark in the beginning. They’ll score first and they’ll keep scoring.”
Fourth most important thing: Being helpful to people and being kind.
Advice for Mariota: “I think he should go pro. I’m pretty sure he’ll be a first-round pick. I want him to go to the Eagles, because I’m hoping Chip Kelly will rebuild the Ducks there because they already have Josh Huff.”
What Oregon needs to do to beat FSU: “I think the defense has to be a little stronger, covering receivers more.”
Fourth most important thing: Sports.
Advice for Mariota: “Go pro. If he comes back he has more to lose than he has to gain. He could risk things like injuries. But if he goes, I think it’d be a good year to finish on because he already won the Heisman and his team is in the first-ever college playoffs.”
What Oregon needs to do to beat FSU: “Lock down Jameis Winston and be dominant on defense and keep Mariota mobile.”
Fourth most important thing: “A toss up between how bad Charlie Pape´’s fantasy team is and how much cooler the Ducks’ uniforms are than Florida State’s.”
What does Oregon need to do to beat FSU?: “Show up.”
Rather face Ohio State or Alabama?: “Alabama, because college football has an East Coast bias. Everybody -- but USC -- on the West Coast doesn’t really get any respect.”
Advice for Helfrich: “Go for it on fourth-and-short and take the right chances.”
Fourth most important thing: Fantasy football (the sixth grade class has a league. Luke’s team, Luke’s Ballers, lost in the first round of the playoffs).
Advice for Mariota: “I want him to stay but he has accomplished everything so I think he should go pro.”
Why does the defense not matter as much? “I don’t think Jameis Winston is that good, so I don’t think we need to worry about that.”
Fourth most important thing: That the SEC is overrated
Why the SEC is overrated: “There are a couple dominant teams and then the rest are like Vanderbilt, Arkansas -- they’re so-so.”
Advice for defensive coordinator Don Pellum: “I think they should blitz them a lot because they have an OK line, great wide receivers and a great quarterback, so I just think they should blitz.”
Fourth most important thing: Winning a national championship
What does Oregon need to do to win a national title: “In the first game they have to stop Rashad Greene and Nick O’Leary, which will slow down Jameis Winston and force Dalvin Cook -- their freshman running back -- to win the game for them.”
Final score prediction: 56-28, Oregon
Will you be a fan of whatever NFL team drafts Mariota? “Not if he goes to the Jets.”
Fourth most important thing: football (apparently this and Mariota fall into two separate categories of importance)
Advice for Mariota: “I think he should stay for his senior year and take us to another national championship.”
What’s the key to Oregon’s defense playing well: “Play strong. Get a lot of turnovers.”