Star-studded sports dreams can come true

Thuzio offers all sorts of "unforgettable experiences" with athletes. Thuzio.com

The holidays are only a month away or, based on TV commercials and store displays, tomorrow. (Quick! Buy everything you see!)

What to give the sports fan on your list? He or she probably already has every jersey, hat, T-shirt, beach towel, refrigerator magnet, poster, DVD and licensed perfume of their favorite team. It’s time for something new. It’s time to get them an actual athlete.

That’s where Thuzio.com comes in. The folks at Thuzio allow you to book athletes for lunch, dinner, birthday parties, golf outings -- really anything.

• Want former MLB reliever Turk Wendell to appear at your fantasy draft? For $500 he’s there, as long as you live in the Denver-Colorado Springs metro area.

• Have a friend or loved one who has always wanted to play a round of golf with former NBA center Tree Rollins? If they live in the Orlando/Tampa area, and if you have $750, that dream can become a reality.

• For $1,000, former NFL punter Jeff Feagles will punt you footballs.

• And for just $500 an hour, 1993 Utah Jazz draft pick Luther Wright will break down game film for you.

• Looking to spend $750 to hear the life story of former major leaguer Frank Catalanotto? Look no more.

• Have $500 to spend for a 2-hour lunch or dinner? That can get you former University of New Hampshire and London Monarchs running back Avrom Smith. Smith also “played the violin for 8 years,” by the way.

• And if you’re a really big roller, you can plunk down $7,500 to get Isiah Thomas to appear at your event or “your store opening, bank, gym, car dealership, etc.” Just make sure you get the details on the “etc.” part to make sure it doesn’t include Thomas managing your business in any way.

And if none of this is quite what you’re looking for, the folks at Thuzio consider custom requests: “Tell us what you're looking for and we will try and make it happen!”

How much will it run me to hire former major league pitcher Bob Tewksbury to feed me grapes while I lounge by the pool and then read me a bedtime story and tuck me in at night? I await their response.

Or better yet: How much to make Tiki Barber go away forever? Maybe we can all chip in for this one. I'll launch a Kickstarter.