Here are 28 thoughts on Alabama’s 28-point blowout of Notre Dame in the BCS title game.
1. Nick Saban owns college football. He hasn’t thought just moves ahead of his contemporaries, he’s games and seasons ahead. Every detail is mapped out. And he’s only getting better. Take his Gatorade shower after the game. In his first title at Alabama, he was wearing a white shirt. The red Gatorade turned it a see-through pink. He was very angry. Nick Saban is not a see-through-pink kind of guy. Monday night? Red shirt. Red Gatorade. You couldn’t even tell he got doused. Most coaches feel good about themselves if they script out a few plays; Nick Saban is probably working with Gatorade on a line of drinks to match his wardrobe for the next 10 years.
2. We were told before the game that Alabama versus Notre Dame would be a matchup of similar styles. And it was. It’s like how you can play air guitar in the same style as Jimmy Page plays real guitar, it’s just that the result of the performances will be rather different.
3. If you’re an Alabama fan and thought that beatdown was entertaining, AJ McCarron’s postgame Twitter feed was even better. He does not take kindly to people Twitter-hitting (twitting?) on his girlfriend. Especially not when they’re lowly members of the Arizona Cardinals.
4. If you would like to follow McCarron’s girlfriend, the reigning Miss Alabama, here you go. She already has a boyfriend and has added tens of thousands of followers since last night’s game, but maybe she will be won over by an especially awkward pickup line from a stranger via Twitter. You never know. It could be almost like a Florence Nightingale effect for the social media age.
5. Speaking of non-homely people and quarterbacks, Mark Sanchez’s next model girlfriend probably won’t be Kate Upton.
It's okay Notre Dame this happened to the Jets every week
— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) January 8, 2013
6. It will be interesting to see where Brian Kelly’s halftime line “Maybe Alabama doesn’t come back in the second half” rates among the all-time great halftime speeches in Notre Dame history. I’d say it’s better than anything Knute Rockne ever said. Listen to this guy talk. It’s hilariously old-timey. Playing a sport is really hard when you’re trying to stifle a laugh.
7. Nick Saban said he will enjoy this victory for two days before getting back to work. The way Saban enjoys victories is no doubt by signing five-star recruits.
8. It will be interesting to see how far Manti Te’o plummets down the NFL draft after his performance in the BCS title game. He had only had 23 tackles in his previous four games and had been completely taken out of a game by Pittsburgh which, despite having a Sunseri, isn’t often compared to Alabama. There were warning signs. But those games weren’t against other NFL prospects with the whole country watching. Te’o’s 40 time at the combine is going to be very important for his draft status. His best bet for a fast time is probably just to have an Alabama lineman shove him backward 40 yards.
9. Imagine the rioting in Texas today if Te’o had won the Heisman over Johnny Football. I might have rioted, and I don’t even live in Texas.
10. Idea for “Rudy 2”: A Notre Dame starter transfers to Alabama and manages to get on the field for one play.
11. This guy is probably feeling embarrassed today. And he should have been, regardless of the outcome of the game.
12. Alabama lineman Barrett Jones might have the best personality of any lineman I can remember since ... I can’t remember any other lineman ever being allowed to talk on television. Still, though: He seems to have a good personality.
13. Notre Dame’s players were gracious in the postgame news conference. They admitted they were the inferior team and congratulated Alabama. Disappointing. It would have been nice if a few of them had blamed the early questionable calls for their defeat. Delusional whining makes for better copy than humility. They have a lot to learn to make it in the pros.
14. In a dominating defeat, it can be hard for fans to find any positives. Here are two: Notre Dame beat Alabama in kickoff return yardage and punt yardage.
15. Oh. And here’s another one: After falling behind 28-0, Notre Dame played Alabama to a 14-14 draw. It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. (I’m pretty sure I heard a coach say that once.)
16. Imagine how much McCarron’s girlfriend would have been twitted on if he hadn’t played great? “Lose the zero and get with the ... different kind of zero.”
17. This was one of Notre Dame’s most talented teams in decades, but do you know what they were missing? A “decided schematic advantage” in coaching.
18. Accused Auburn tree poisoner Harvey Updyke is still free under a conditional release while he is awaiting trial. He must stay at his daughter’s house at all times unless he needs to see a doctor, has a legal appointment or is attending religious activities. Religious activities. There’s the loophole. Notre Dame is a Catholic school. They'd better guard their trees.
19. Alabama plays at Texas A&M on Sept. 14. Saban will have all offseason to figure out a way to stop Johnny Manziel. The best way might be to just get him tickets behind home plate to that day’s Texas Rangers game. Johnny Football doesn’t turn down good seats.
20. Notre Dame plays USC on Oct. 19. USC has all offseason to figure out a way to stop Lane Kiffin.
22. Saying that McCarron’s hardest hit of the night was when Barrett Jones shoved him is an easy joke, but it’s just not true. Some of the high-fives following the early portion of Alabama touchdowns were extremely hard.
23. Here’s what I don’t like about Twitter: A lot of people love to talk trash, but when things go badly for their team, you don’t hear a peep about it.
24. It will be interesting to see how far Notre Dame drops in the final AP rankings. Going from No. 1 to FCS seems like it might be too drastic.
25. AJ McCarron has one season left at Alabama, then the quarterback job will be turned over to Blake Sims or Phillip Ely. I just wanted to put their names out there to help them get a girlfriend. You’re welcome, fellas!
26. If you see a Missouri or Kentucky fan today bragging about SEC football, be sure to punch them in the neck. They have as much to do with BCS title game dominance of SEC football as you or I did as American citizens with the U.S. military’s successful raid on bin Laden’s compound. Wait. But we all chanted “U-S-A!” after that, didn’t we? Ah, crap. Never mind. Don’t punch them in the neck. Let them chant.
27. But just for one day!