Real hockey tops tonsil hockey in Canada

Many Canadians would rather watch playoffs pucks than get busy, according to a recent survey. Norm Hall/NHLI via Getty Images

Canadians, the species that gave us Bret “The Hitman” Hart, take their hockey more seriously than their health, families and basic liberties combined. So it should come as little surprise that they also value it above their love lives.

A recent Match.com survey revealed that Canadians date less during the NHL playoffs, which means that in these last few weeks there’s been a shortage of tonsil hockey at their various venues of courtship. (Lumber banquets? Moose roasts? Who knows.).

The survey also found that while dating is a no-no for many during the postseason, 17 percent of singles nationwide said they would not date someone who didn’t follow hockey. So, in other words, you better dig hockey if you want a girlfriend, but if the relationship ever interferes with hockey then you can count on flying solo.

In a similar poll, when asked how their dating life is affected by the basketball season, 98.7 percent of Canadians responded, “What’s basketball?” Then all the lonely Raptors went home and locked themselves in their bedrooms, ashamed that their claws weren’t capable of gripping a hockey stick.