Joba's 'shush' scandal is not Yankees-like

Does this look like a guy who would take kindly to being shushed? Elsa/Getty Images

It was the “shush” heard 'round the world.

Yankees closer Mariano Rivera shushed fellow reliever Joba Chamberlain before Saturday’s game. Minutes later, Chamberlain told Rivera: “Don’t ever shush me.”

Yes, it was that bad. Things got crazy. One minute we had a regular pregame between the Yankees and Royals. The next we had the biggest shushing-related scandal between pitchers who aren’t good enough to be starters in baseball history.

The hammer then came down on Chamberlain. Hard. He was universally chastised for his loud-talking ways and for daring to tell a Yankees legend to not shush him.

Chamberlain was a loose cannon! Chamberlain was not exhibiting the class befitting a Yankee! Chamberlain should be traded or released posthaste!

Talking loudly to your family and then getting annoyed that you’ve been told to shush is simply not something a true Yankee can do. No. No way. It is something with which we will not put up.

What can a Yankees player do? Any of the following.

• Get linked to performance-enhancing drugs.

Admit to taking HGH.

Wear a gold thong under your uniform.

• Take obscure performance-enhancing drugs.

• Sweat all over a piece of baseball history.

• Get linked to illegal gambling.

Faux apologize for taking steroids.

Swap wives with a teammate.

• Never bother to learn the names of half of your teammates.

Flirt with women behind the dugout during the playoffs.

• Break your hand punching a wall.

Release a scent.

Testify in federal court against a former teammate.

• Get linked to PEDs yet again.

Womanize and overeat.

But telling a teammate not to shush you when you’re talking to your family? Simply not acceptable.

Joba must go.