The lamest sports Twitter feuds ever

Shaquille O'Neal. Jose Canseco. AJ McCarron. Which ones are feuding? Are any of them, really? Getty Images

Over the weekend at The Players Championship, Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia publicly traded barbs, with fighting words such as, "He’s not the nicest guy on tour," and, "It’s not really surprising he was complaining about something." Shots fired!

OK, so the rivalry isn’t exactly 2Pac-Biggie. Or even Kobe Bryant-Shaquille O’Neal. In fact, it makes the Lindsay Lohan-Amanda Bynes feud seem like an intense rivalry.

But sadly, it’s not even the lamest exchange of words between athletes. We took to Twitter to revisit the worst athlete feuds of all time. Or at least since 2006, when Twitter was created.

Darnell Dockett vs. AJ McCarron

After appearing in the stands of the BCS National Championship in January, Katherine Webb undoubtedly received thousands of creepy tweets. But it was the one from Darnell Dockett that aggravated Webb’s boyfriend, Alabama QB AJ McCarron. Dockett tweeted his phone number to the SI model/celebrity diver/pageant queen/Super Bowl correspondent/national treasure (for another two minutes, anyway), then all hell broke loose:

Oh snap! No word on the current status of the feud, but we’re just hoping if these two eventually run into each other in person, TMZ producers will be there to document it all.

Shaquille O’Neal vs. Jose Canseco

Canseco has tweeted at O’Neal just about 400 times over the past year about setting up an organized MMA fight. Shaq, by our count, has responded three times. Granted, this is probably because Shaq actually has things to do (like a job), while Canseco sits at home trying to figure out ways to get attention all day.

Last week O’Neal finally responded to a tweet from Canseco (twice!) and told him to set up a fight. Canseco being Canseco, he took that to mean a bout had been organized and spent the next several hours ranting over Twitter, to no one in particular, about the fight. Is this a feud if no one cares, including one participant in said feud? We’re not sure, but we’re enjoying the crazy all the same.

On the other hand, we would undoubtedly pay at least the price of a paperback copy of "Juiced" to see Shaq actually silence Canseco in the octagon.

Donald Trump vs. Mark Cuban

If two uber-rich, equally loud, publicity-seeking dudes are fighting on Twitter, do they cancel each other out? Sadly, as learned the hard way in the fall, the answer is no. When Donald Trump posted a ridiculous tweet offering President Obama $5 million for a copy of his birth certificate and college transcript, he drew eye rolls from people on both sides of the political aisle. And no one -- on Twitter, anyway -- was more vocal than Mark Cuban. The flamboyant Mavericks owner responded by offering Trump $1 million to shave off his hair. Trump, probably unsure of how to shave off a toupee, instead took the opportunity to talk about the ratings of "The Apprentice." It was as lame as it sounds. So much so, we fell asleep twice while writing this paragraph.

The two have apparently kept their war of words going, but we won’t bore you with any further details.

LeSean McCoy vs. Osi Umenyiora

LeSean McCoy called Osi Umenyiora "overrated n soft" over Twitter. Umenyiora responded by wishing McCoy a happy Mother’s Day and telling him to enjoy his special day. Get it? Because McCoy’s a woman! What an insult!

We’re not sure when that joke would have been funny, but we’re guessing maybe pre-Susan B. Anthony. After taking flak for the sexist comment, Umenyiora apologized to ladies everywhere. And then in subsequent tweets called McCoy a "little girl," "Lady Gaga" and referred to him as "she." OK then.

Lolo Jones vs. Eric LeGrand (sort of)

Since being paralyzed in a game in 2010, former Rutgers football player Eric LeGrand has served as an inspiration for all. Well, almost all. LeGrand sent hurdler Lolo Jones a friendly tweet in October challenging her to a race. Jones, clearly unaware of who LeGrand was, blasted him for the comment and said that he must be suffering from a concussion to think he could beat her in a race. Umm … awkward!

Luckily for Jones, approximately 37 million people let her know that LeGrand is, in fact, a quadriplegic. LeGrand took it all in stride and Jones sort of apologized. At least we think that’s what "sry don’t know every football player" means.

Denny Hamlin vs. Joey Logano

There has been no love lost between these two NASCAR drivers this year. After the season opener at Daytona, a furious Denny Hamlin tweeted at Brad Keselowski about Joey Logano, sarcastically calling him Keselowski’s "genius teammate" and blaming him for their results in the race.

Because no tweet is better left unsent, Logano instantly replied to his former teammate Hamlin with, "I remember when you were MY genius teammate. #LoveYouMeanIt"

For those not in the know, "Love you, mean it" does not actually mean that one loves the other person. Confusing, we know.

The two continued trading tweets for what seemed like years (it was probably a week), and their fighting extended into the real world with a reported series of angry texts and even multiple wrecks on the track. Hamlin ultimately suffered a back injury in their last crash at Fontana and missed four weeks of racing as a result.

While we love a little drama, here’s to hoping these two take their feud to entertaining viral videos or rap battles. And not while driving cars at top speeds on a racetrack.

Curtis Woodhouse vs. Twitter troll

English boxer Curtis Woodhouse found himself on the receiving end of multiple taunting tweets from a user named @jimmyob88 (Jimmy O’Brien) after a loss in the ring. Woodhouse, as many professional athletes probably would like to do, decided a simple reply wouldn’t suffice and set out to confront the heckler in person. After getting O’Brien’s address from other followers, he made the 60-mile trek and sent ominous tweets as he drove, including pictures of various landmarks he passed en route.

Of course, O’Brien was conveniently not home (read: he fled as soon as he saw the first frightening tweet) and then sent a series of clearly panicked 140-character apologies.

Let this be a lesson to all of you sitting at home tweeting rude comments at famous people. And if you feel as though you must continue sending these tweets, make sure the celebrity lives really, really far away (and is ideally not paid to fight people for a living).