<
>

We need more aircraft carriers in sports, life

The sports world is selling itself far too short on the potential for holding events on aircraft carriers. Christopher Hanewinckel/US Presswire

Three weeks ago, one of ESPN's most respected and beloved figures proposed that the USS Carl Vinson, host of last season's wildly popular North Carolina-Michigan State college basketball game, be considered as a site for the college football playoffs. He reasoned, no doubt, that anything played on an aircraft carrier would be awesome.

We now see that others agree.

The Class A South Atlantic League announced this week that it's holding its All-Star Game home run derby this year atop the USS Yorktown in Charleston Harbor. Until this announcement, I didn't even know that minor leagues had home run derbies. Now I think I want to plan my summer around watching this event.

Every fringe sport and obscure event must seize upon the opportunity presented by aircraft carriers.

Gymnastics on an aircraft carrier. Tennis on an aircraft carrier. Bowling on an aircraft carrier. Lacrosse on an aircraft carrier. National Spelling Bee on an aircraft carrier. Olympic diving off an aircraft carrier. The Aircraft Carrier Football League. You know you would watch each and every one.

Aircraft carriers also raise the profile of non-sporting events. For example, going to weddings is rarely fun. But put that wedding on an aircraft carrier? You'll be there. No one likes the dentist. But install a dentist's chair next to some F-16s? You'll schedule your next appointment for tomorrow. Even movies are better with aircraft carriers. Who wouldn't watch "Snakes on an Aircraft Carrier?"

We can debate a lot of things, especially in sports, but this is one truth we all know: Aircraft carriers > everything else.