Gallo's NBA playoffs, Stanley Cup captions

"We're both from Seattle, but we're not inviting any of our relatives to the wedding." Evan Gole/NBAE/Getty Images

“I have achieved my career goal of being more famous than Lil’ Wayne.”

“I wish that old man would stop heckling me so I could concentrate on the game.”

“Good thing this guy’s face is here for some extra leverage.”

“I can’t even remember what it feels like to win a basketball game.”

“You’re what every mother dreams of having: a clutch son.”

“Just a reminder to America’s bandwagon fans: this is the name of our team.”

“OK, on three, everybody say ‘MUST WIN!’”

“Shhhh. Don’t say something that might provoke me to violence.”

“Oooh! I love surprises. OK, Jeff Carter, I won’t open my eyes until you tell me to.”

“Heh-heh. OK, Vince. Enough. Hug my girlfriend one second more and I will cut you. You know I’m not joking.”

“It’s two to one! We win the flop-off!”

“I can’t … I can’t fight it anymore. I must … strangle Joel Anthony.”

“What happened to us getting all of the calls? You guys need to be consistent.”

“It’s so attractive when you tent your fingers like an evil mastermind.”

“Whoa. Look how bald he is back here.” “Ah, come on, Kevin. That’s rude, even for you.”

“Is it OK if I’m excited? Or must I still be showing public remorse over our Super Bowl loss?”