NHL Awards needs new award categories

Which new NHL Awards category will colorful analyst Don Cherry inspire? Read below to find out. AP Photo/Carlos Osorio

The 2012 NHL Awards are tonight in Las Vegas. The awards get a lot of buzz in hockey circles, but they're pretty much ignored in the mainstream. Maybe more people would pay attention if the NHL didn't always give away the same old, stodgy awards with confusing names. The Hart Memorial Trophy. The Lady Byng Memorial Trophy. The Frank J. Selke Trophy.

Lame. It's time for some new awards that could appeal to more people. Here are 25 ideas:

  1. Thickest Playoff Beard

  2. Patchiest Playoff Beard

  3. Smelliest Playoff Beard

  4. Most Ungentlemanly Player

  5. Most Manly Player

  6. Most Playing Like a Kid Out There Player

  7. Least Valuable Player

  8. Funniest Canucks Joke

  9. Most Hilarious Flyers Goal Allowed

  10. Hardest Check on Sean Avery

  11. Creepiest Sedin Twin

  12. Fan Achievement in Booing Gary Bettman

  13. Fan Achievement in Yelling “Shoot the Puck!” Most During Games

  14. The Lord Stat-Padding Trophy for Most Empty-Net Goals

  15. Gooniest Player

  16. Most Punchable Player

  17. The Don Cherry Award for the Player Who Most Dresses Like a Flower Garden

  18. The Staal Cup for Achievements in Staaldom

  19. Commissioner’s Cup for Best Bankrupt Team Run by the NHL

  20. Tim Thomas Award for Most Misguided Political Statement

  21. The Bruce Boudreau Cursiest Coach Swear Jar

  22. Bloodiest Face

  23. Most Toothless Grin

  24. The Lord Zombie Trophy for Most Gruesome Injury Sustained Without Missing a Shift

  25. Best Canadian Team / Stanley Cup Consolation Prize