1. "It's easier to win the national championship than the SEC. Ask Nick Saban."
– Steve Spurrier, head coach, South Carolina
It’s also easier to win the SEC East than the SEC West.
2. "You think I make the schedule? If I made the schedule, Georgia would be playing LSU and we'd be playing Ole Miss." – Steve Spurrier
A crack about Georgia’s non-conference schedule would have worked fine here, as well.
3. “Some people have been acting like we played a bunch of high school teams. We were in pretty good league." – Gary Pinkel, head coach, Missouri
As though Missouri wasn’t hated enough already, disparaging high school football won’t play well among Texas fans.
4. “I want everyone to know, [Nick Saban] is older than me.” – Gary Pinkel
So he’s done growing? Huh.
5. "It's serious here. I wouldn’t be surprised if everybody was strapped with a gun here." – T.J. Moe, WR, Missouri
We're laughing because we're really uncomfortable and scared.
6. “They also have prettier girls, the air is fresher, the toilet paper is thicker." – T.J. Moe
Like cream cheese on bagels, thick t.p. may very well be an NCAA violation.
7. “I don't have to defend the Big 12. I'm not in the Big 12 anymore." – T.J. Moe
Good. It’s an indefensible high school league.
8. “There's a buzz about Vanderbilt football that there hasn't been in a long time."
– James Franklin, head coach, Vanderbilt
That’s psycho talk.
9. “I’m a psycho. I’m a psycho about football.” – James Franklin
10. "It's summertime and we're undefeated at this point, so you might catch me later with a different attitude." – Kevin Sumlin, head coach, Texas A&M
So we’ll check in after you play LSU, Auburn and Alabama over a four-week span.