It’s Fenway Park’s 100th birthday and Fandom is throwing a party! We’re still finalizing the guest list, but here are some things that partygoers can expect from the festivities:
Piñatas modeled after Bucky Dent and Aaron Boone and filled with clam chowder instead of candy will please young and old alike.
Red Sox relievers will demonstrate that they can actually throw strikes, again and again, at the Bobby Valentine dunk tank.
Kevin Youkilis will reveal that his physical and emotional absence in games is a result of all the hard work he’s been putting into making a very pretty layer cake with “Happy 100th Fennway [sic]” written in icing.
Guests will bring plenty of gifts, including “Fever Pitch” on Blu-Ray and a leather-bound volume of death threats sent to Bill Buckner.
Bobby Jenks will commit multiple hit-and-runs on the refreshments table.
A small side celebration will be held for the stragglers who are just now finishing the Boston Marathon.
Lester and Beckett will sneak sips from a flask filled with fried chicken smoothie.
The Green Monster and the Marlins' home run sculpture will be spotted getting a little smoochy at the end of the night.