Good nicknames in baseball seem to have gone the way of starters who regularly go all nine innings. They just don’t exist anymore.
What we're left with are just last names with a “y” or “o” tacked on at the end, like “Trouty” or “Gonzo.” Blah.
Most ballplayers on Twitter are just as uninspired, using some variation of their names and uniform numbers.
But there’s hope.
A small but growing group of big leaguers have come up with clever handles for themselves. Here are 10 of the best:
Player: Ross Detwiler, Washington Nationals
Twitter handle: @NationalDet
The right-hander joined the Twittersphere just this year, believe it or not. He may be a back-of-the-rotation starter for the Nats, but his handle already makes him a Twitter ace.
No. of followers: 2,935
Hang with me. Still figuring this tweeting thing out but this is the real Ross Detwiler not just my hair
— Ross Detwiler (@NationalDet) December 5, 2012
Player: Derek Holland, Texas Rangers
Twitter handle: @Dutch_Oven45
Between the wispy ’stache and goofy Harry Caray impressions, Holland has shown he has an offbeat sense of humor. Add his handle to the list. Not sure what his Twitter moniker means? You’re on your own.
No. of followers: 97,867
This hotel has got to have the best weight room I've ever seen in a hotel. It actually has machines instead of benches with no dumbbells #ha
— Derek Holland (@Dutch_Oven45) November 27, 2012
Player: Bruce Chen, Kansas City Royals
Twitter handle: @ChenMusic
The left-hander’s play on words probably isn’t very funny to the eight batters he plunked last season. They may not admit it, but even Chen’s mid-80s fastball to the ribs can leave a mark.
No. of followers: 13,531
At Mall of America in Mn enjoying da day off Didn't know it was big enough to have roller coaster rides #MLBFC #Royals twitter.com/ChenMusic/stat…
— Bruce Chen (@ChenMusic) September 10, 2012
Player: Trevor Bauer, Cleveland Indians
Twitter handle: @BauerOutage
Indians fans can be excited about Bauer on several levels. One, he has the potential to be the top-of-the-rotation starter they've been missing since Cliff Lee left town. And two, as his handle suggests, Bauer is thoughtful and creative -- and worth following on Twitter.
No. of followers: 16,835
Ever been taught to get your throwing elbow above your shoulder? Go look at hall of fame pitchers and see how many of them did that.
— Trevor Bauer (@BauerOutage) December 11, 2012
Player: John Baker, San Diego Padres
Twitter handle: @manbearwolf
Baker has a back tattoo honoring his late grandfather, a man of Russian descent. The tat features a bear and wolf flanking the message “One Day Closer to God” etched in Russian Cyrillic. In Russian mythology, bears symbolize good and wolves symbolize evil. Deep stuff. (Baker hasn’t tweeted in over a year. Maybe this nod will get him to come back?)
No. of followers: 7,606
Hasta Luego south florida, I'll miss your crazy drivers and thunderstorms a lot. Thanks for teaching me the real definition of rain.
— John Baker (@manbearwolf) November 23, 2011
Player: Tim Byrdak, New York Mets
Twitter handle: @Givemethelefty
Byrdak’s handle won’t make a good nickname, but it’s hilarious nonetheless -- and appropriate. The Mets rode the 39-year-old lefty like a rented mule for the past two seasons, calling on him 128 times.
No. of followers: 10,221
Does it get any better when McDonalds gives you perfectly made fries!Oh Shamrock shake where are you?
— Tim Byrdak (@Givemethelefty) December 12, 2012
Player: Mike Carp, Seattle Mariners
Twitter handle: @CarpusMaximus20
The Mariners outfielder could have gone with a fish-related handle. But that would’ve been too easy. And heck, any player who has had to shuttle between Triple-A and the big leagues for four straight seasons must have the will of a gladiator.
No. of followers: 5,948
Bad at tweeting...
— Mike Carp (@CarpusMaximus20) May 14, 2012
Player: Jason Grilli, Pittsburgh Pirates
Twitter handle: @GrillCheese49
Grilli runs his own marketing company in addition to pitching middle relief for the Pirates, so he knows the value of a memorable Twitter handle. Seriously, who doesn’t enjoy grilled cheese sandwiches?
No. of followers: 26,300
New episodes of Workaholics Jan 16th. Hellz yes! Cannot wait!
— Jason Grilli (@GrillCheese49) December 16, 2012
Player: Cameron Maybin, San Diego Padres
Twitter handle: @spidermayb24
Seems the Padres outfielder can laugh at himself. Back in 2008, a spider bit him in the face, triggering an allergic reaction that forced him to sit for five games. The “Spider-Man” jokes began immediately.
No. of followers: 7,862
Tom Brady walking up the field like these haters can't hold me back(Rick Ross voice)#boss
— cameron maybin (@spidermayb24) December 17, 2012
Player: Travis Snider, Pittsburgh Pirates
Twitter handle: @Lunchboxhero45
Snider makes no bones about his carnivorous culinary passions. No doubt he’s loving his new home in Pittsburgh, where fries are served on top of both sandwiches and salads.
No. of followers: 59,572
Spicy garlic shrimpSpicy wingsCaesar salad3 big dawgsWell done Tablas Woodstone Tavern. If your in the great NW.. Highly recommended
— Travis Snider (@Lunchboxhero45) December 2, 2012