If you could only see three sporting events in your life they should be Wimbledon, The Masters and the Kentucky Derby. Saturday's 51-1 long-shot Derby winner Mine That Bird was unforgettable—I found myself screaming at the rail with a bow-tied Dhani Jones of the Cincinnati Bengals—but the Derby is always unforgettable. The hats, the hooves and that first-Saturday-in-May hope that spring is here: priceless. What is forgettable is the rumor that Churchill Downs will someday run the Derby under lights. Churchill Downs says it's never been discussed, but it will start night racing on two Fridays in June and once again in July and you know where this is going. Once the lights go up and the temptation to get a prime-time TV audience is there, you can throw another great American tradition in the giveaway pile, along with World Series Games That Start Early Enough for Kids to Watch, Superstar Golfers Who Don't Cuss After Bad Shots and NBA Traveling. Please don't do it.