Some people collect spoons. Some collect potato chips. Mike Ilitch collects sports teams.
Ilitch, who owns Little Caesar's Pizza, is set to buy the Detroit Pistons, which would make him the only man in America to own three professional sports franchises in one city. He also has the keys to the Red Wings and the Tigers. Anybody who can make enough money to buy three teams by selling two pizzas for the price of one is obviously good with his money.
There are only 12 cities in this country where Ilitch could've done this, since the NFL bans its owners from buying any other team. Did Ilitch pick the right one? Taking into account fans, facilities, history, performance, prospects and, of course, Khloe Kardashian, here's how they rank:
Celtics, Red Sox, Bruins
Pro: Boston fans are arguably the most loyal in all of sports.
Con: Boston fans invented the one-game losing streak.
Flyers, Phillies, 76ers
Pro: Philly fans are arguably the most knowledgeable in sports.
Con: Philly fans are arguably the most arguable in sports.
Blackhawks, Bulls, Cubs
Pro: The Cubs never win, but there seems to be a bottomless hunger for their fans to watch them do it.
Con: The guy who owned the Bulls before you seems to have turned down Joakim Noah for Carmelo Anthony.
Dodgers, Kings, Lakers
Pro: Lakers are one of the most glamorous franchises in the world.
Con: Vin Scully will retire someday.
Avalanche, Nuggets, Rockies
Pro: Get a place in LoDo and you can walk to every game.
Con: In snow. In May.
Capitals, Nationals, Wizards
Pro: You'd own three of the most exciting players in all of sports -- Alex Ovechkin, John Wall and Stephen Strasburg.
Con: Ovechkin seems unlucky. Strasburg may never be healthy. And Wall just picked Gilbert Arenas as his mentor.
Mavericks, Rangers, Stars
Pro: All three teams seem well-positioned for future success.
Con: You don't own the Cowboys. Nobody cares.
Knicks, Rangers, Yankees
Pro: Yankees are the single-most storied, iconic and valuable franchise in American sports.
Con: Midnight texts from Isiah Thomas.
Pistons, Red Wings, Tigers
Pro: Ilitch plans on building a downtown arena for them so all three teams will actually play in Detroit.
Con: City may fold before teams.
Coyotes, Diamondbacks, Suns
Pro: Suns are always entertaining.
Con: Diamondbacks and Coyotes get beat more than Persian rugs.
Braves, Hawks, Thrashers
Pro: Braves are always good.
Con: The city hates pro sports.
Timberwolves, Twins, Wild
Pro: Joe Mauer is cool.
Con: He refuses to learn hockey.