<
>

Cowboys Stadium Would Like To Host All The Super Bowls, Please

Cowboys_Stadium

Scott Boehm/Getty Images

Why do we get the feeling that Cowboys Stadium's ego is getting a little out of control?

North Texas has yet to host its first Super Bowl. That will happen next year, when the Big Game comes to Cowboys Stadium in Arlington on Feb. 6, 2011. But that doesn’t mean the Dallas area can’t campaign to host its second Super Bowl in 2016.

Well, technically it does, because a city can’t bid for its second Super Bowl until after it has hosted its first. But apparently there’s nothing stopping a city from announcing its plans to bid for its second Super Bowl before hosting its first.

Good thing, because that’s just what the Cowboys are doing, and Hall of Famer Troy Aikman, who knows a little something about Super Bowls and Dallas football, will be the chair of the effort. So how can the folks over at Cowboys Stadium prove they’re worthy of hosting a second Super Bowl when they haven’t even hosted their first? By using the 2011 Super Bowl as one giant marketing ploy for the 2016.

One sure-fire way to get into the good graces of the People Who Decide Where the Super Bowl Will Be is to honor the Super Bowl’s history. Like how different countries give their own heritage and history a shout out in the opening ceremonies when hosting the Olympics. You know, like Vancouver did with its maple leaves and GIANT INFLATABLE BEAVERS (whaaaat?!). So what steps can the Cowboys take?

To start, round up some Super Balls. These bouncy little suckers should be a prominent feature at Super Bowl XLV, whether that means giving them out to every fan, or somehow involving them in an artsy performance piece, like this, during the halftime show. Why? Well, the whole reason the Super Bowl is called the Super Bowl is because of Super Balls. Lamar Hunt, one of the founders of the AFL who is credited with helping merge the NFL and AFL, came up with the name while watching his kids play with Super Balls. And where was Hunt from? Dallas. So the Cowboys including bouncy balls in Super Bowl XLV would not only be a homage to the Big Game’s roots, but also a reminder to the committee of the role the city of Dallas has played in the game’s great past. Seemingly, the 2016 bid would be in the bag.

As far as an atmosphere goes, Dallas would be wise to channel the Big Easy and South Beach. Nineteen out of 44 Super Bowls have been held in either New Orleans or Greater Miami, so importing a Jazz-Meets-Latin-Pop vibe into the 2011 game would go a long way in locking up the 2016 bid. We’re talking Gloria Estefan and Harry Connick Jr. duets galore at the halftime show, and palm trees and Zydeco bands lining every pedestrian walkway in sight.

As for keeping the Dallas area on the minds of the Powers That Be long after the game is over, that’s a trickier beast. Luckily, we have a solution. Since the Super Bowl is often used as a lead-in for TV shows that the host network wants to give a boost to (particularly pilot episodes), we suggest using Super Bowl XLV as a launching point for the pilot episode of a remake of “Dallas.” All the cool shows are doing it ("90210," "Melrose Place"), so it would totally make sense. Plus it would serve as a weekly reminder of Dallas’ viability as a big-time, culturally relevant city. What more could you want in a Super Bowl host?

Finally, and this might be the trickiest of all, the Cowboys need to not make it to Super Bowl XLV. Because no team has ever played the Super Bowl in its home stadium (the closest were the 49ers, who played Super Bowl XIX in Stanford Stadium, not Candlestick, and the Los Angeles Rams, who played Super Bowl XIV at the Rose Bowl, not Memorial Coliseum). And Dallas doesn’t want to go rocking the boat for 2016 by being the first to do it in 2011. Messing with an NFL tradition would just leave a bad taste in the committee’s mouth. So, sorry, Tony Romo and Miles Austin. Save the heroics for 2012.