"Come here, man! I'm Robaire Smith - your new big homie 4 real!"
In case you haven’t noticed, twitter, the socially acceptable form of stalking friends, celebrities or even the White House, has undergone a pretty massive overhaul. For sports fans, this makes it much easier to see what Chad Ochocinco had for breakfast or what Andy Roddick does on his days off. Because, let’s face it – there’s never too much information when it comes to our favorite athletes.
And so, to celebrate Twitter’s new look, we’ve decided to list our 10 favorite professional athletes' Twitter account names. Unfortunately, @THE_REAL_SHAQ doesn’t qualify because we figured the fake Shaq wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining or "quotatious."
@KungFuAstronaut: Dallas Cowboys tight end Martellus Bennett.
He has his current location listed as "Jupiter's Moon." That's not quite the Palace in Dallas, but it's quite funny.
@Mister6Clutch: Miami Heat point guard Mario Chalmers.
What’s interesting here is the fact that he relinquished the No. 6 for LeBron. Also, will he even have the chance to be clutch, considering who his new teammates are?
Might be time for a new name EDIT: Mr. Chalmers deleted his account as we wrote this. Seriously.
@RealKaka: Real Madrid midfielder Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite.
His nickname is "Kaka," and we respect that. We also respect his over two million followers. It doesn’t mean it’s not funny to say his Twitter name out loud. #ExcuseOurImmaturity.
@TheCooleyZone: Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley.
This Twitter account is obviously the "zone" to find Mr. Cooley. DISCLAIMER: This is NOT the zone where cool people unite or hot people come to cool down. Sorry for any confusion.
@GrillCheese49: Major League pitcher Jason Grilli.
Sadly, the Twitter account named @TomatoSoup doesn't quite complement this MLB journeyman’s delicious handle.
@BigHomie4real: Cleveland Browns defensive end Robaire Smith.
Need a big homie? 4 real? Just click on the link and follow Mr. Smith -- your own big homie!
@QBKilla: Retired NFL defensive end Warren Sapp.
Is he still out to "kill" QB’s, even in retirement? A more appropriate name might be @SoftShoeSapp, after his second-place finish on season seven of "Dancing With the Stars."
@SeeJoeDunk: New Orleans Hornets forward Joe Alexander.
See Joe. See Joe dunk. See Joe Tweet while dunking. See impressed fans.
@RealTuffJuice: Dallas Mavericks forward Caron Butler.
We did a Google search for the most threatening thing to drink. We found Caron Butler's twitter account.
@Just_Ice23: Retired MLB outfielder David Justice.
You’d think "just ice" would be the answer to "what do you mix with tuff juice." Turns out it’s David Justice. We're just as surprised as you are.
After all this Twitter talk of grilled cheese, juice and ice, is anyone else hungry?