How To Brave The Bobby Cox Void


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"Oh, come ON! I'd make just as good of a Real Housewife as I would a Celebrity Apprentice!"

After 25 years, 2,504 wins and one World Championship, Braves Manager Bobby Cox has called it quits. Love him or hate him, you can't deny that the Braves dugout will look rather strange without him there. The man has become as synonymous with the Atlanta Braves organization as the "Tomahawk Chop." However, one particular statistic of Cox's has made him a baseball legend: his 158 ejections (not including his three in the postseason). That's the most by any manager in MLB history, four shy of one full season's worth and an average of one ejection every (almost) 16 games.

We're not quite ready to say goodbye to his explosive personality, since you really can't ask for better entertainment out of a baseball manager. If nothing else, we'd like to see a little more of Cox. His constant eruptions basically made him the original outrageous Reality TV star. Therefore, we've come up with a list of reality shows we think Mr. Cox should go on during his retirement:

Celebrity Apprentice

Imagine this: Bobby Cox running around and doing menial tasks, all for the sake of making Donald Trump happy. First of all, we don't see Bobby handling these challenges with a smile and a nod, therefore making him a prime candidate to get the infamous "you're fired" from The Donald. That's right, sports fans, another Bobby Cox ejection. However, this time you'll actually get to hear what Bobby says on his way out (earmuffs, kids!).

Dancing With the Stars

Since Bobby's bad knees forced him to stop playing baseball by age 30, we're pretty sure he wouldn't last too long on this show (see: Buzz Aldrin). We can also imagine how tough Bruno Tonioli, the show's energetic judge, would be on the former Braves manager. We could see Cox doing an angry Paso Doble right off the show with a few choice words for Tonioli, a la Michael Bolton.

Real Housewives of Atlanta

Yeah, we know -- Bobby Cox couldn't be a housewife. But he's a wealthy, sassy Atlanta resident who will be spending a lot more time at home, so why not make an exception for the guy? The truly intriguing part about having him on the show would be to see how he reacts to catty behavior. If you thought Cox had a short fuse with MLB umpires, just imagine how he'd handle Kim Zolciak.

Deadliest Catch

The show is about surly, short-tempered, foul-mouthed fishermen who risk their lives to catch Alaskan King Crab. Strap some rubber fishing overalls on Bobby Cox, make him captain of the Cornelia Marie and watch the hilarity ensue.

Hell's Kitchen

Let's see here ... Chef Gordon Ramsey has an explosive personality and an incredibly short temper. Bobby Cox has a fiery personality and a pretty short fuse. We're going to go out on a limb and assume that Bobby isn't much of a chef, making him an easy target for Chef Ramsey. This could only lead to good things for the viewers (earmuffs again, kids!).

See, Bobby Cox? There can be life after baseball for you and we still get to enjoy that amazing personality of yours. Everybody wins!