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Ahoy NBA, Ben Gordon Salutes Your New Technical Foul Standards

Photo by Allen Einstein/Einstein/NBAE via Getty Images

Perhaps if Jonas Jerebko had listened to Ben Gordon's advice on court etiquette he'd still be in the NBA.

The NBA's crackdown on whining is in full effect as refs prepare to issue more technical fouls on everything from "aggressive gestures" to "excessive inquiries about a call, even in a civilized tone." One player who doesn't have a problem with the harsher policy is Pistons guard Ben Gordon:

"I’m all for it, and I think it will make the game go a lot smoother," Gordon said earlier this week, sounding a bit too much like that kid who always volunteered to answer questions in class. "There are times when guys are complaining a bit excessively ... It messes with the flow of the game." Well put, Ben. We also know you're not calling out Dwight Howard and Kendrick Perkins for their technical fouls in last year's playoffs, cause that would be snitchi ... er, Dwight and Kendrick aren't reading this, are they?

The league is also upping the fines for each foul:

"First five technicals cost $2,000 each, then it’s $3,000 for the next five and $4,000 for Nos. 11-15. At 16, a player is suspended one game for every two technicals and receives a $5,000 fine."

Those are hefty fees to be sure, but to drive home the point may we also suggest these additional penalties to really cut down on the on-court shenanigans:

Five fouls: Must fetch Ben Wallace's free throw practice balls.

10 fouls: Do Shaq's laundry. By hand.

15 fouls: Seven hours of mascot wrangling (look out for Rocky, he's especially tricky)

20 fouls: Required to perform service as a referee in an Italian soccer league ... just to know how it feels.

25 fouls Deliver a personal apology to Jerry West for disrespecting the logo.