Tale Of The Tape: Lou Holtz vs. Jesse Palmer


"Hey Lou, I hope you're ready for the weigh-in!"

When the No. 23 South Carolina Gamecocks travel south to face the No. 22 Florida Gators in Gainesville tonight, it will be a family affair - an ESPN family affair, that is. That's because our very own college football analysts Lou Holtz and Jesse Palmer have divided loyalties heading into tonight's matchup and histories at both schools (Holtz as the head coach of South Carolina, Palmer as the quarterback for Florida).

While South Carolina and Florida can settle their differences on the field, we'll have to go to the Tale of the Tape to see who comes out on top between Holtz and Palmer:


Holtz: 73

Palmer: 32

Advantage: Holtz. Age before beauty.


Holtz: 5'10"

Palmer: 6'2"

Advantage: Palmer. Though Holtz' listed height is sneaky tall.


Holtz: East Liverpool, Ohio

Palmer: Nepean, Ontario

Advantage: Palmer. Holtz gets points for being from the "Pottery Capital of the World" but the edge goes to Palmer for being included in our list of famous "Nepeanites" alongside Steve Yzerman and Sandra Oh.

Playing Career

Holtz: Linebacker, Kent State, 1956-1957

Palmer: Quarterback, Florida, 1997-2000

Advantage: Palmer. If we had video of Holtz as a linebacker, this would be closer.

Coaching Career

Holtz: 249 wins in college football

Palmer: n/a

Advantage: Holtz. And we won't count his 3-10 season in the NFL with the Jets in 1976 against him.

TV Appearances

Holtz: The Tonight Show, Live with Regis

Palmer: The Bachelor, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Advantage: Holtz. Yes, Palmer was a great bachelor, but Holtz sat down with Jack Paar in 1961 - that's TV history.

So there you go - a little quick math, and it looks like we have a tie. At least there's a game tonight to settle this once and for all.