Wednesday Wangdoodles

News and notes from around Baseball Land while wondering if MLB is really going to make the Nats and the 'Stros finish this game ...
• When John Smoltz can't pitch any more, he wants to golf ... on the pro tour! I'm sure he's quite wonderful, but I'm guessing he'd have a better shot as a professional knuckleball pitcher than as a professional golfer. A lot of ex-baseball players have wanted to make the switch to golf, most of them were younger than Smoltz, and none of them ever did anything. Golf's a hard game, man.

• From the ol' mailbag:

    I was on a Royals message board and was trying to convince almost all of them that if the Royals finish the year 14 games above .500 (81-81) they will finish with 95 wins and 67 losses. They were trying to convince me that if the Royals finish 14 games above .500 we would finish 88-74. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Help me out on this.

This battle was won and lost a long time ago, my friend. Embrace popular opinion, and think about it like this: If the 88-74 Royals were to somehow play another 14 games and lose all of them, they would be sitting on .500 exactly. Thus, they had been 14 games over.
• Craig Brown deconstructs Zack Greinke, and among the most interesting discoveries: Greinke saves his best fastballs for the biggest moments ... and he throws as hard in the ninth as he does in the first.

• Sure, it ended up being Bobby Scales' only hit ... but it came against Tim Lincecum, and they can never take it away.

• Is it too early to give up on Lastings Milledge? Yeah, probably. But lately nobody wants to be around him. And as Chico Harlan points out, Milledge hasn't hit a single home run in 2009. Not in spring training, not with the Nationals, not with the Triple-A Syracuse Chiefs. Milledge turned 24 a few weeks ago. Shouldn't he be growing up a little bit? And hitting the occasional homer?

Doug Glanville addresses the subject of pitch-tipping.

• My favorite bit from the Yankees' response to the Great Rain Delay Debacle:

    Yankees spokesman Jason Zillo said Tuesday the team has a posted policy against re-entry, but said he understood it was possible some fans were let back in. Zillo said it also was possible some game-day staff had told fans the game was being rained out.
    "We have about 5,000 game-day event staff," he said. "Today we're being proactive. We've met with supervisors and with all ranges of guest services people."

    More rain was in the forecast. Zillo said the team will make more announcements and post more scoreboard updates.

    "There should be once voice coming from the Yankees during any rain delay situation via either the PA announcer or scoreboard messages," he said. "We recognize that we can give fans information more repetitively during a rain delay situation."

Now they're being proactive? All season, the Yankees have been acting like a franchise that's in its first year ever, as opposed to a franchise that's been around forever but just moved across the street. Almost makes you miss The Boss. He would have fired someone by now, right?

• As Tim Marchman says, this justifies the internets.