LRMR Marketing: A Website Marketing Copy Critique

When LeBron James was young and impressionable, Maverick Carter was the best player on his high school team. He must have made some impression, because Carter has been in the eye of the LeBron storm ever since.

Maverick Carter is an important part of the team of friends and associates that replaced Aaron Goodwin as James' agent last summer. Now Carter is the founder and CEO of LRMR, which bills itself as "a marketing company unlike any other." They put on a big marketing event in Akron earlier this week. Their approach has been much discussed (and here). It sounds pretty slick. I want to both understand and believe that they are really onto a new approach to sports marketing that has a little more soul.

An alert TrueHoop reader just sent me a link to the LRMR website. I can't say one word about LRMR's abilities as an agency. However, I can critique the website copy, which is easily categorizable as "bad." Remember, they're a marketing company, so their job is to make people look good. So this website is supposed to be professional.

Exhibit A

"In today's global watchdog public, it's easy to have a PR blunder."

Blunders? There's one right there in that sentence. "In today's public?" I guess you'll find some blunders, like all those doughnuts they swore they were going to stop eating.

Exhibit B

"We're dedicated to maximizing both our individual talents along with the market dominance of our partners. Two wrongs don't make a right, but two rights make an unmistakable claim to the throne."

Look, I know what they're getting at here. But all they're really saying is "you're good and we're good too" and this a fantastically bizarre way to make that point.

Exhibit C

"Our branding services identify and capture your audience while building on the leverage of our partners. Branding done right makes you stand out in a haystack."

Building on leverage is dicey as hell, but we'll let it slide. But what I'm wondering, is if there's some way I can get the branding without having to stand out in a pile of hay. And how long do I have to stay there?

Exhibit D

"To change the sports marketing prism through leveraging sports celebrity and corporate infusion of partnerships."

This is an actual sentence from the website. I don't know what to say. Maybe someone can diagram that sentence for me first, and we'll go from there.

On a non-grammatical note, there's an interesting development in Mr. Carter's biography:

Through his extensive network of contacts and associates, Mr. Carter has established relationships with MSN, a division of Microsoft; Boost Mobile, one of the fastest-growing wireless communications firms in the United States; and Richard Hamilton, a star player for the Detroit Pistons.

From what I have heard, Richard Hamilton's Boost Mobile deal was largely the work William Wesley (who is also known to be a close associate of both Maverick Carter and LeBron James). Here's some wild speculation on my part: I wonder if Maverick Carter and LRMR are useful to William Wesley as a public face for some of his business dealings--someone to let Wesley own a lot of his work while remaining, as he very much prefers, behind-the-scenes.