Make Your Own "Waltonism"

Every time he opens is hyperbolic mouth, Bill Walton opens the door to criticism from TV viewers. Basketbawful is driving straight through the middle of that opening:

Creating your own Waltonism is easy. Simply use the following formula: [Insert Player/Team/Fanbase Name] is [Insert Action -- preferably basketball related] [Insert Superlative or Hypernegative Description]. It's that easy! Remember: the more bizarre, the better. Here are some real life examples to get you started.

"Tracy McGrady is doing things we've never seen from anybody -- from any planet!"

"Eric Piatkowski makes perhaps the greatest defensive play in Clipper history!"

"John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!"