<
>

The Life of LeBron James

Basketbawful has news of his visit to Baruch College for a photo shoot for that New York Times magazine PLAY:

The site refers to James as "one of the top basketball players in the world and a popular member of the NBA's Cleveland Cavaliers," which is kind of like calling Optimus Prime a popular member of the mighty Autobots. The site also states that the photo shoot "was a well-guarded private event that featured a staff of photographers, security, and personal assistants working to make sure James was prepared and comfortable." I can only assume that means there were a dozen naked models fanning Lebron with giant feathers, while Halle Barry slowly and seductively peeled his grapes before dispensing them into his mouth from the depths of her glistening, heaving bosom.

The same blog also asks how many of the nine U.S. Supreme Court justices you can name.

I'll go for it: Souter, Kennedy, Alito, mental block on the new one who is chief justice even though I listened to his confirmation hearings on the radio, Scalia, Thomas, I think there's a Breyer perhaps? (or is that ice cream?), Ginsburg, is O'Connor still there? I don't think so.

Ooh, did a little online research. My apologies, Justice Stevens. You've only been there almost my entire life. I'm still getting used to you. And there is a Breyer! All right! And it's Chief Justice Roberts. Roberts. Remember that.

So, after you complete that humiliating exercise, answer Basketbawful's next two questions: How many of your team's top nine players can you name? What does that say about you?

More importantly, is this the first time anyone has ever moved straight from "Halle Berry's glistening, heaving bosom" to "Justice Souter" in a two measly sentences?