Or writing a column, at least. And it's spectacular.
"Boris, LB, Pat Burke, a couple others and myself were turned away from the club at Caesar's Palace. The culprit: My Chuck Taylor sneaks. Can you believe that? NBA players getting turned away by a bouncer? Vegas doesn't mess around with their attire rules."
"Here's what I do know: I like Amare. He's a good guy and he's working hard to get into shape and to be a good teammate. I also know that everybody on our team has a responsibility to give 100 percent. If you're not doing that, then you're letting down everyone who plays with you and for you. I think Amare is just feeling his way around right now. He's getting used to being back in the huddle and in the flow. Remember, he missed a whole year. That's a long time, and enough to make you feel disengaged from the team. So I give him the benefit of the doubt. He's working hard to find his way with us."
"My first team out of college was the USBL's Tampa Bay Windjammers. My game day duty as a rookie was to fill up a garbage bag full of filthy jockstraps and socks, then sit in a laundry mat and wash them. So how did I become a tenacious player? Dirty jockstraps. Try it. You'll see."