Tuesday Bullets

  • Joey Crawford, back on the court with Tim Duncan tonight.

  • There's a new online biography of Tim Duncan, by Liston, and it starts like this: "So basically, my dad is like, the foremost expert on Tim Duncan and stuff. You see, they were best friends or whatever and now my dad knows all about him. But not best friends like where they hung out and knew each other and stuff, more like best friends where Tim never really knew about my dad but my dad thought about and talked about Tim Duncan all the time and wore his jersey to my grandma's funeral even though it totally pissed everyone off but my dad was like, 'Whatever, dudes. It's the playoffs.' Best friends like that."

  • A poll to give Kevin Durant a new nickname. My favorite is "daggers," although Mr. Good Things is fun.

  • A tad PG-13 for language, and I guess the recommendation to drink a whole bunch, but here's a funny Sonics drinking game. If you really want to get drunk, they recommend drinking every time Kevin Durant takes a shot that would have gotten you benched in high school.

  • Stephen Jackson on video teaching the "kick 'em in the shins" jumper.

  • It will be hard for Jermaine O'Neal to convince Pacer fans that he won't be working extra hard to impress the Lakers tonight.

  • Do players need full-time agents? To me the short answer is that everyone could use a good agent. The superstar may have team income secured, but needs top marketing income and advice with contract minutiae that can change everything. (For instance, Kobe Bryant's no-trade clause.) The 12th man needs someone with an excellent feel on what other opportunities are out there when this job ends. (If you could be making seven figures playing long minutes in Spain, wouldn't you at least want to know that option was there?) Everyone in between needs wisdom. But nobody needs shoddy agents who have bigger fish to fry. And there's a lot of that.

  • You ever heard the radio documentary Ghetto Life 101? It's from 1993 Chicago, and it was made by some teenagers, talking frankly about their lives in the tough part of town. Here's a transcript, part of which features an encounter with Dale Ellis. "Jones: On the bus, some one tells us that there are professional basketball players staying at the Hyatt Regency. So, being top notch reporters, we head to the hotel to check it out. (Hotel lobby music) Jones: You hear the nice music they're playing? Newman: Yeah. Jones: A few minutes later, we scammed our way up to the 20th floor. That's where we found Dale Ellis -- a guard with the San Antonio Spurs. He let us interview him in his room. Jones: Yeah, I'm from Ida B. Wells -- what part of the United States are you from? Ellis: Atlanta -- actually Marietta I'm 29 minutes north of Atlanta. Jones: I know you played for the Sonics and you won the three point contest. What are some of your greatest achievements in life? Ellis: Well, the biggest achievement, I think, is just being here for one. Jones: We chilled out with Dale for about fifteen, twenty minutes. It was cool. Ellis: Math was always my favorite subject. It was always my favorite subject. Jones: Thank you. Can I have your autograph? (Everyone laughs.) Jones (whispering): Goddamn. That was Dale Ellis man. That was Dale Ellis, man!!"

  • Wizznutzz had me laughing so hard that my facial muscles will need the rest of the day off to regroup. Basically, it's a criticism of those Wizard fans who are lukewarm in supporting Gilbert Arenas (PG-13): "If you dont like inventors why are you still shopping at Sharper Image, why dont you go next door to Sears where they have more reliable warranties but the Pepper Shakers dont have built in flashlights??? If you want the top dog then you got the wrong nature documentary cause gil's the craziest bird the the bush, hes the crazy little bird with the puffed up feathers doing the weird dance and building a bright blue nest out of old Connect Four chips and trying to mate with a bear."

  • Basketbawful has some fun facts: "The Knicks, Bucks, Hawks, Blazers, and Kings are a combined 0-25 on the road. ... Eddy Curry has 5 assists and 19 turnovers this season. ... Jason Kidd currently ranks 37th in field goal percentage (34.2 percent) among NBA point guards."

  • Confronting Tommy Heinsohn about the waning presence of Tommy Points. Are the Celtics now too good for hustle stats?

  • Baron Davis with an amazing deadball flop. (Via Deadspin)

  • Dinner and a movie with LeBron James for 800 needy people.

  • Do not call Kevin Martin a chucker. Tom Ziller will throw a whole mess of numbers at you, and he'll win.

  • Ian Whittell writing for England's Times about Steve Nash's love of soccer. (Via From Deep)

  • Trainer Dan Barto remembers when he roomed with prospect Michael Beasley. "He made sure to write all the phone numbers of the girls he met on his closet wall in marker -- that way he would not lose them. There were many nights were I would come back from work and he would be doing his homework just five feet from the television with and empty container of 30 wings. The best part was the he sometimes would be wearing 3-D sunglasses watching Sponge Bob Square Pants." Barto also says that in a game of one-on-one to 11 against Kevin Durant, he'd take Beasley every time.