Who should join the Big Ten?

Tue, Dec 15

The Big Ten Conference will explore the possibility of adding a 12th team.

Good luck explaining that one to a kindergartner. 'Round those parts, 10 would be 12, Jan Stenerud would be Jim Kelly, and late for work would be time to eat.

Let's make a deal -- we'll keep pretending we can't count, so long as we get to decide who will be the newest member of the Big Ten.

The conference may choose from the following:

Pittsburgh. Getting Joe Paterno and Jackie Sherrill in the same room becomes much more likely. Nothing is funnier than an, ahem, elder statesman going off on someone he positively loathes.

Hawaii. The fans deserve the chance to see a late-November game without risking frostbite.

Appalachian State. Hey, if Michigan loses to the Mountaineers again, at least the Wolverines wouldn't have to pay for humiliation.

Cincinnati. This way, all the athletic directors could get together to talk about how Notre Dame messed everything up for everybody.

Texas Tech. A team that consistently scores in the 40s would be at home in the Big Ten. Oh wait, that's in basketball.

Navy. Now that is how you get back at Notre Dame.

Duke. Great academics, and its glory days on the gridiron were the early '60s. The Blue Devils would fit right in.