NFL wants brains; we have other ideas

Mon, Dec 21

The NFL is working with Boston University's Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy to study brain trauma in football. The league will ask former and current NFL players to donate their brains to science. Presumably, with fancy boxes to ship the brains, like they do for Super Bowl rings.

Page 2 loves this idea.

Scientists could study Mark Sanchez's brain to find out what he doesn't understand about the words "double-covered." They could study Tony Sparano's brain to find out what he sees in Pat White that no one else does. And they could look at Brett Favre's brain on the subject of waffling.

Then we started wondering, what other body parts players might be asked to donate?

• Tony Gonzalez should donate his entire body, so scientists can find his key to eternal youth.

• Randy Moss should donate his ego. Because he weirdly plays better when it's been bruised.

• The Broncos should donate the skin of their teeth, because that's what they will make the playoffs by.

• Nate Kaeding has been asked to donate his right foot, strangely to a research center in Cincinnati.

• The Raiders have a special project. They are transplanting Bruce Gradkowski's brain and Charlie Frye's heart into JaMarcus Russell's body to create one capable quarterback.