Bye-bye mullet ... please take cornrows with you

Thu, May 27
Cornrows David Rogers/Getty ImagesWith Jared Allen getting rid of his mullet, I'm hoping other athletes would get rid of their cornrows.

Shoutout to Jared Allen taking one for the team (in this case his wife) and chopping off his famous "party in the back" for for his upcoming wedding. Unless you drive a tractor for a living and want an old school, practical way to shade your neck from the harsh afternoon sun, you shouldn't rock a mullet. Actually, under no circumstances should anyone still sport a mullet -- especially a millionaire athlete. As far as I know, Allen was the only recognizable pro athlete to rock the hairstyle so maligned that it's derisively called an "ape drape" by some (I'm partial to "Kentucky waterfall").

There's one last 'do that we have to get rid of in pro sports: cornrows.

Or, as I like to call them, "NBA mullets." We have some pretty obstinate stragglers in the League. Denver's Nene and Miami's Udonis Haslem and Michael Beasley just won't let go (I see you, too, Randy Moss). Beasley had the audacity to grow his after entering the NBA, a good three to four years past their social cachet and acceptability. Josh Powell is sitting at the end of the Lakers' bench in cornrows. Why? It's not 1998. It's not even 2008. Even Rasheed Wallace stopped rocking his cornrows. Allen Iverson -- who cut his off in early '09, then grew them back recently, like they were his Sampson locks -- has been rumored to have sheered his 'rows again. If Iverson has de-rowed, then the rest can. No excuses.

Today I asked my homeboy if he knows anyone that still rocks cornrows. He said, "Yeah -- inmates and infants." Enough said.