Pick your poison -- vuvuzelas or ThunderStix

Mon, Jul 12

The United Arab Emirates issued a fatwa against vuvuzelas last week, banning the horns because of their loud and very annoying noise. The Angels slapped their own fatwa against them, as well, when I tried to bring one in for a video comparing vuvuzleas to the team's ThunderStix.

You can't bring that in, the security guard politely, but firmly, said, asking what I planned to do with it.

Thinking she was joking, I said I only planned to blow it in her ear, and no one else's. I realized she wasn't kidding when another guard came over and told me that no, I could not bring the horn inside the stadium.

When I explained I was definitely not going to blow it in the stadium, that it was only for a video and that I was only going up to the press box to get something then come right back down, he said he thought I still couldn't bring it inside. Trying to be helpful, he radioed the security office and then called someone from a land line (they still have those) and asked whether they could make an exception. Then he came back with the official word: No.

Here's the really crazy thing. Last year, I shot a video for the World Series in which I carved a pumpkin with a very large, sharp knife outside the Phillies' stadium. I accidentally cut myself while carving it, so there was a little blood on the knife and my thumb as I went back to the press box. And I still got the knife inside. Either the security guards didn't see it or large knives are OK at Phillies games (possibly to ward off fans intent on purposely vomiting on you).

Vuvulezas at a stadium, however? No way. Which, come to think of it, is probably how I would rule as well.