Technology, what's it good for?
The NFL is thinking about selling its soul to Cairos Technologies, the German company that's been trying to sell its "smart ball" to the other football (i.e. soccer). It's a computer chip-in-ball plus a magnetic field around the football field that allows the ball to know where it is at any moment and pass that information to the referee by a phone-watch on his wrist.
Ref: "Hello, who is this?"
Ref: "What do you want, ball, I'm kind of busy here."
"I'm on the 38-yard line."
Ref: "I know that! I just put you there!"
"Just thought you should know. I'm on the 38."
Ref: "Oh, shut up."
At least that's how we imagine it at Sunday Brunch. Plus we don't want a technology that does away with the first-down chain gang on the sidelines. Those guys are great comedy relief.
Besides, have you seen what those "smart balls" look like on the inside? They look like electronic watermelons. And that's just wrong.
But if the NFL does adopt this devil's handiwork, we hope we are there when the Lions have the ball on their own 38-yard-line at Philadelphia but the ball shorts out and announces "Touchdown!"
You think Santa Claus had it bad there. Those fans will eat that ball.
Some other bits of sporting tid before we get to the Brunch's main courses: