NBA commissioner David Stern said he wants to cut player salaries by 33 percent.
"We would like to get profitable, have a return on investment," he said. "There's a swing of somewhere in the neighborhood of $750 to $800 million that we would like to change. That's our story and we're sticking with it."
Sure you are, Commish. There's no way Stern thinks he can shave one third of the players' salaries. But he's right -- something needs to change. To humor Stern, I've identified a way for him and his poor, cash-strapped owners to shed the $750 million in salary (with some slight fudging here and there, of course).
33 PERCENT CUTS: For players who just downright aren't actually worth their wage.
Savings: $120 million (with potential)
Casualties: Kevin Garnett, Joe Johnson, Emeka Okafor, Hedo Turkoglu, The Spurs Trio (Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili, Tony Parker), Rashard Lewis, T.J. Ford, Zach Randolph, Troy Murphy, Jason Richardson, Kenyon Martin, Kirk Hinrich, Samuel Dalembert, Vince Carter, Jason Kapono, Baron Davis, Boris Diaw, Nick Collison, Travis Outlaw, Andrew Bynum. You make cases for a few more on this list.
Don't fight it, accept it: Taking a pay cut is only right -- they'd still be well paid.
LEAGUE MINIMUMS: Some players aren't worth anywhere near their current salaries, but don't deserve to be kicked out the league. They can stick around for a mil' or so.
Savings: $70 million (with potential)
Casualties: Gilbert Arenas, Nazr Mohammed, Mike Bibby, Michael Redd, Hasheem Thabeet, Dan Gadzuric, Luke Walton, Marko Jaric, Vladimir Radmanovic, DeSagana Diop. And, really, feel free to add to this one.
The ugly truth: Gil has tried to get fired all preseason, culminating in his faked injury stunt. A $16 million pay cut will break those pockets. Bibby had some great moments in his career, but at this stage he can't create and couldn't check a bag on a flight, let alone an NBA point guard.