Imagining an all-Charlie Sheen television network

Fri, Mar 4
1:05
PM ET
Charlie SheenAP Photo/Phil McCartenCan the Charlie Sheen experience be contained in a mere 24 hours? Page 2 examines the possibilities.

It seems there's always room on your TV service's sports/entertainment programming tier for them to squeeze in a dozen channels you wouldn't watch it the NFL were on strike for 20 years.

So that got us thinking ... There's got to be bandwith room available for the ultimate sports/entertainment/trainwreck spectacle of our time, right?

Hence, here are Page 2's ideas for a 24-hour-a-day channel devoted to all things Charlie Sheen. Face it, there's so much footage of him already out there, this channel's content and success will be equally high whether he participates or not.

We're willing to scrap our development of the ESPNBugEating channel to make room for this 24-hour block of programming:

8 a.m.-8:30 a.m.: "Sheen Time Players." Start your day with an espresso shot of inspiration as we compile the best footage of Charlie Sheen giving pep talks to college baseball teams, pro baseball teams, and anyone foolish enough to invite him into a closed practice. His biggest challenge: Trying to talk his way into giving pep talks at cheerleader tryouts.

8:30 a.m.-10 a.m.: "Winning Fitness". Half-hour blocks of fitness programming featuring routines hosted by Sheen's personal trainers, past and present. Caution! Consult a physician before engaging in any Charlie Sheen-approved workout to avoid "fire-breathing fists" syndrome.

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