Page 2 unearths more fines for NBA owners

Wed, Sep 14

Hilarious-mustache enthusiast Michael Jordan was fined $100,000 by the NBA for comments to an Australian newspaper in which he mentioned Milwaukee Bucks center Andrew Bogut and the NBA lockout.

Although a hundred grand is just a drop in the bucket for "His Airness," the fine shows the league isn't messing around. Owners can be fined up to a million dollars for saying anything player- or lockout-related during the work stoppage, and a handful of recent violations unearthed by Page 2's dubious network of sources suggest the urge to speak up is too much for some owners to handle:

• Lakers owner Jerry Buss received a $20,000 slap on the wrist for a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Ater Majok."

• The estate of Larry H. Miller was fined $65,000 after the deceased Utah Jazz owner complained via Ouija board that Jimmer Fredette was "too wholesome" to play in California.

• Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov was docked an undisclosed amount for a rambling toast at the Kris Humphries-Kim Kardashian wedding, where he ended every sentence with, "You are very good basketball player, Kris Hahm-phrie, I love you." Prokhorov's co-owner Jay "Shawn Carter" Z also was fined for a verse in a recent song that rhymed "Roc Nation" with "uncooperative player negotiation."

• Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was levied a $120,000 fine because it just felt right.

• The NBA, owner of the New Orleans Hornets, keeps a fine jar at its headquarters and puts in a dollar every time the topic of basketball comes up in conversation.

• Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert was ordered to cough up $40,000 after Cleveland police caught him spray-painting "LeBron is a Class-A Weenie" in Comic Sans on the side of a downtown building.

• Trail Blazers owner and Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen was fined an undisclosed amount after delivering a scathing rant against the NBPA in binary. "01100110 01101100 01100101 01111000 01100011 01100001 01110000 01100110 01110100 01110111," he reportedly said.