Take the winless Indianapolis Colts -- please.
Their latest accomplishment was making the Jacksonville Jaguars look good. Now 0-10, the Dolts -- uh, Colts -- have a two-game lead in the "Andrew Luck Sweepstakes," as no other team has fewer than two victories this season.
The Colts' offense (oxymoron?) has not scored in two games. The team's website (colts.com) observed that in the 17-3 loss to Jacksonville, "The Indianapolis offense endured an uneven day through most of the action."
I beg to disagree. There is nothing uneven about a flat line. Ask any emergency room nurse.
Colts coach Jim Caldwell said after the game, "This is certainly going to be one of those tough games to evaluate all of the things."
I beg to disagree again, Coach. A three-word evaluation: "Your team stinks."
Colts owner Jim Irsay tweeted, "FAITH!"
What can they do? That is where you come in. Our reader-generated list this week will be "Top 10 suggestions for the Indy Colts." They need help, and who better than you with your wisdom and wit? (Remember, we always look for wit, 'cause it's who we are, it's what we do.)
Send your suggestions to email@example.com -- including your first name, initial of your last name and your location. Deadline is noon Wednesday, and the list appears here Thursday.
The Colts have a bye week, so one suggestion could be to leave the country. Then the schedule includes Carolina, New England, Baltimore, Tennessee, Houston and, yes, the Jags again.
So there's hope, but if I were the Colts, I'd stay in Cancun.
Note about Brett Favre: Many of you noticed that Brett Favre was not mentioned in last week's list, ending his long string of being involved in every list. Will he get back into this week's list? We just hope the anxiety is not too hard on him.