Pig fine in Samoan rugby gives me some ideas

Sun, Nov 27
ScrumWarren Little/Getty Images In Samoa, they have some unusual stipulations when you lose in rugby.

Talk about boorish behavior.

One of those stories that got lost in the slop last week involved the firing of Tuala Mathew Vaea, the manager of the Samoan rugby team after it finished 2-2 in World Cup play. Besides losing his job for bad (you'll get the "boorish" pun in just a moment) behavior, he was fined 100 pigs by his village called Leauva'a for hurting its reputation.

Unfortunately, he got off with an apology and a check for $2,000 but got to keep his pigs (if he really has pigs). The village actually was on to a system that makes a lot of sense. All our major professional leagues should start taking away something other than money because these players have all got money.

Consider the following possible fines and decide for whom would they be appropriate:

• 100 dogs.

• 100 shoes.

• 100 hypodermic needles.

• 100 pages from his little black book.

And if I'm ever fined in this manner, hopefully they'll hit me for 100 pounds.

Granted, we're all still stuffed from Thanksgiving but our literary chefs are whipping up some top grade stories that are guaranteed not to be leftovers. As they apply the finishing touches, here are a few more appetizers:

• Speaking of over-eating, nearly forgotten Takeru Kobayashi set the world record for turkey consumption by eating 7.5 pounds in 10 minutes. But I'm protesting because no dressing was involved. There are rules.

• The Charlotte Hounds played a lacrosse game that lasted 13 hours and 14 minutes -- and ended in a 140-140 tie. It lasted long enough to sell $25,000 worth of merchandise and season tickets. Bud Selig reacted: "Wow, how did they do that?"

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