After kickoff rule, what else should NCAA change?

Sat, Feb 11

The NCAA football rules committee has just proposed moving up kickoffs from the 30-yard line to the 35, just like the NFL. They also want to limit the running start by members of the kicking team to five yards as a way of keeping players safer.

Here are some other rules the committee should consider.

• The required distance for a first down is now 3(Pi) yards -- to help players work on their math skills during the game.

• The coin flip at the beginning of every game will be done with a 1983 dime -- to commemorate the year that Brandon Weeden was born.

• Defensive linemen can continue to rush as soon as the ball is snapped, however, linebackers will need to count to three Mississippi.

• Marching bands will be replaced by string quartets -- to eliminate the chance of anyone in the stands getting a trombone-induced concussion.

• Players can secretly get paid, they just can't cash the check until every member of their recruiting class graduates.

• Just before the ball is snapped, wishbone offense quarterbacks must declare whether or not they plan on pitching it to a back.

• All incoming field goal kickers committed to Boise State must provide VIDEO PROOF of connecting on at least one field goal of over 20 yards in high school.