Sports prophecies that weren't seen by Dale Jr.

Fri, Apr 13

Yes, Dale Earnhardt Jr. knows he hasn't won a NASCAR Sprint Cup race in his past 135 tries.

Fortunately for him, the topic of his slide has gotten so stale that he doesn't even field that many inquiries about it these days.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Andrew Weber/US PresswireWith shades like that, it is no wonder Dale Earnhardt Jr. can't see the future too well.

"People know I'm not Nostradamus, so they don't ask me questions about the future."

Well, of course we know YOU'RE not Nostradamus. We don't have to come to you to have our fortunes told. That's the beauty of the 16th-century seer. All his predictions are written down. Study them long enough, and the patterns emerge.

Amazingly, scholars show that ol' Nosey pinpointed the number 135 will have particular resonance in the sports world of 2012: For example:

• Starting at this summer's race in Loudon, N.H., Danica Patrick will begin an astonishing 135-race win streak on the Nationwide circuit.

• Chris Singleton, who came up snake-eyes when he dropped $10,000 on Mega Millions tickets during the mega-jackpot frenzy, will win a $135 million Powerball jackpot. He'll use that money to buy a piece of the Washington Wizards so as an owner he can engineer a trade of himself to the Lakers.

• Because NFL refs will be flag-happy when it comes to monitoring late hits by the Saints, the New Orleans defense will average 135 yards in penalties per game.

• The Kentucky Derby will be won be a horse with 135-to-1 odds.

• Dwight Howard will give up trying to get Stan Van Gundy fired after 135 requests.

• Baylor athletics will have 135 major recruiting violations that the NCAA will never find out about.

• The 2012 Texas Rangers will go 135-27.

• The 2012 Boston Red Sox will go 27-135.

Oh, one last thing, Dale:

Nostradamus sees big things for you and your winless streak around No. 223 or so. Hang in there!