July 21, 2003
Ben Curtis:
In unlikely outcome proving once again that prognosticators have no clue, the anonymous 26-year-old PGA rookie won the British Open.
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:

Hottie fiancee for show; local caddie for dough...

And three other lessons you can learn while watching a 396th-ranked golfer win a major on his first try:

Thomas Bjorn's "Groundhog Day" double-take double-bogey on a Sunday 16th was bad; his two-shot penalty for a sandbox tantrum on Thursday was worse...

"Hooters Tour: Cradle of Champions": Expect to see still-majorless Phil Mickelson making an appearance any day now.

George Karl Ousted
Have you tried "Karl-legra?" It's for NBA coaches who are allergic to developing young players. Side effects include losing your job as the most overpaid coach in pro sports when your team decides to rebuild. He will, however, make quite a candid TV analyst.

24/7 KobeTV
So much for "Respect the alleged victim's privacy": But the Eagle DA's risk guarantee when creating an info vacuum around the woman was that the media, hungry to fill the void, can and will find anyone willing to trade uncorroborated quotes for a little spotlight.

As you weigh reports and analysis floating around, consider this: If you had never heard of Kobe, but someone was quoted as saying "Two months ago, I saw him extremely agitated...on the verge of tears," would you stop to consider the context was the moments after being bounced by the Spurs in the playoffs?

Big Unit Returns
It's not that Randy Johnson didn't pitch well; it's that his team couldn't rally for any runs in a 3-2 loss to the Padres.

1 Next D-Willis? Giants' Jerome Williams (5-1) vs. D'backs
2 NBA Summer League: LeBron done, so follow 'Melo
3 NFL camping: Where's Pasquarelli? Today: Orlando (Bucs)
1 Sampras defending US Open title: Won't play in NYC
2 U.S. hoops hopes: Juniors finish mighty 5th at Worlds
3 Gilbert Arenas as a Wizard: Clippers have the edge
Unit threw six innings allowing only 1 earned run, to go with 6 hits, 2 walks, 2 hit batters and a balk, apparently wanting to test out all forms of pitching mistakes.

LeBron Watch
Call it dramatic foreshadowing: If LeBron gets winded by back-to-back summer-league games and is gimped by some shots to the thigh, take the "under" on him surviving 82 as a rookie.

Props for playing through pain in his Boston summer league finale Sunday, but 2-for-14 FG shooting was almost as unhelpful as his missed free throws to tie at the end of the game.

More BCS Fun
The BCS cabal is staging a media call today to pre-empt a Tuesday conference call between a quasi-union of non-BCS teams attempting to horn in on the loot, acc. to the NY Times.

The non-BCS'ers should lobby for one of the BCS's "at-large" spots. Pushing a playoff is admirable, but if the tourney field were 8 (or even 16), the "Nons" wouldn't get much love anyway.

"All-Star" Traded
If the Phillies had traded for Pirates closer Mike Williams (he of the "All-Star" 6-point-stifled-laughter ERA) two Sundays ago instead of yesterday, needless to say he wouldn't have had to endure all the All-Star joking at his stats' expense. Because the closest he would have gotten to the All-Star Game is his TV remote.

Mark Roe and
Jesper Parnevik

How do you screw up signing a British Open golf scorecard? Putt-Putt birthday parties offer more attentive players.
Today on ESPN.com
P2: Ballpark Tour goes to Fenway Park
SN: Kobe Bryant chat
IN: Rate NFL units
"Real World" Edition
San Diego
Ruins Randy's return
Ruins Dontrelle's streak
Ruins Tiger's hopes
Ruins Lakers' season?
New York
Ruins Armando's choke rep

Dontrelle Watch: Ouch! Cubs tagged the kid for six earned runs in just two innings in a 16-2 Chicago rout. Second-half "second-time-around" slump alert?

How refreshing to see Scottie Pippen skip a winning season on a glamorous title contender to play with a team that will be lucky to win 25 games ...

Taking Pippen's place in Portland: Watch out for Qyntel Woods ...

Walked around Manhattan this weekend fully expecting to see a "Free Kobe" T-shirt. Didn't see one; thank goodness for eBay ...

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