Top 10 reasons we need Brett Favre
While we were putting together this week's Top 10 list, Brett Favre's agent, Bus Cook, tried to keep us from kicking Favre's image beneath the proverbial bus by declaring that Favre is "retired, period."
There's the sun rising in the East. There's taxes (no matter how high the debt ceiling). And there's Brett Favre coming out of retirement. It's nature's way of things.
So despite what his agent said, we asked you for the "Top 10 Reasons We Need Brett Favre." Much to our shock and dismay, a large percentage of those that responded apparently do not need Brett at all. But Bill P. of Tualatin, Ore., provided a reason that may work for most of us:
"Every sport needs a villain. Baseball has the Yankees (and A-Rod), the NBA has LeBron and now the PGA Tour has Tiger. All were once acclaimed superstars but many have turned on them now. Brett was a beloved player but has worn out his welcome by stringing along fans and media. Sorry, James Harrison, but Brett Favre is the villain that the NFL needs."
He's got a point. How exciting would "Star Wars" be without Darth Vader?
It's not surprising that most of your reasons for needing Brett were sarcastic (especially considering it's what we do, who we are). But we disqualified all suggestions that mentioned photographs of Brett's anatomy (and there were a lot of those). Even after eliminating those, we had no trouble completing the list:
Top 10 Reasons We Need Brett Favre
10. "So many defenders fell in love with the end zone that they crave Favre's return," said Rabbi Daniel P. of St. Louis.
9. "Every Fantasy League needs Favre so we can all get a good laugh when some dope picks him in the second round," said Jack F. of Falls Church, Va.
8. "We need Brett because until the NBA lockout ends, the Miami Heat haters need a substitute object of their scorn," said Lisa H. of Hamilton, Mont.
7. "Because there's still 17 years left on Favre's deal with the devil," said Ben M. of Peoria, Ill.
6. "He makes Jay Cutler look good," said Alice A. of Roseville, Minn.
5. "Because Pete Rose's record of 3,562 games played is so close," said BJ H. of Lowell, Ind.
4. "With the lockout ended, the NFL Network needs someone they can use for constant updates," said Ryan H. of Brockton, Mass.
3. "Because after the NFL-Wal-mart merger, Brett can become the first NFL Greeter," said Janice H. of Palo Alto, Calif.
2. "Because we must have a 'Pants on the Ground' remix," said Patrick M. of Newark, N.J.
1. "We need Brett Favre because he's Brett Favre. Boom! He throws the ball up for grabs. Boom! Brett Favre threw a touchdown! Then he hugs some big guy, then he hurts his ankle and his arm but he doesn't care. Why? He's Brett Favre! Boom!" said John M. of the M. Cruiser. (Kidding, it's from Chris H. of Pickerington, Ohio.)
Listen, Brett Favre may not be out of retirement when the regular season starts. Brett Favre may not be out of retirement before Thanksgiving. But just when you least expect it -- Boom! -- Brett's back.