10 reasons SEC doesn't want your team
Not often that our reader-generated Top 10 lists generate anger but that's what happened this week because our topic is "Top 10 Reasons the SEC Doesn't Want Your Team."
A great number of Texas A&M supporters felt we were talking about the Aggies. Hey, we believe in equal-opportunity cheap shots around here. But you should have seen the emails. Half of the protestors expect me to crawl for forgiveness when the SEC invites A&M any second now. The other half fears A&M will never be invited because we at ESPN are keeping the Aggies down.
One self-professed Aggie hoped my home gets hit by a tornado. How he knew that I live in a trailer park beats me. And I could have run a separate "Top 10" list of the names used to describe me. Of the ones that can be repeated here, the top two were "Col. Sanders" and "Capt. Kangaroo," so it was nice to know many of you think I should have a military rank.
My favorite was "sofa slug." Colorful.
Still, many of the Aggies protestors were polite and reasoned in their views. They often admitted to being at least a little embarrassed by the media rush to place them in the SEC last week, which is all we suggested here. We meant no harm.
The irony, of course, is that the list hardly takes shots at the Aggies at all. The most common target is the Southeastern Conference and its perceived belief that football trumps all else. Let's get to the list:
Top 10 Reasons the SEC Doesn't Want Your Team
10. "Because you're Duke football," said Jackson D. of Durham, N.C.
9. "Your home field is blue," said Massawar A. of Queens, N.Y.
8. "They've seen your coeds," said Corey N. of Atlanta.
7. "Florida schedules you for its nonconference opener," said Curt H. of Seaford, Va.
6. "Your uniform is teal, your quarterback is Chad Henne and your inclusion would weaken the conference's strength of schedule," said Lisa H. of Hamilton, Mont.
5. "You don't pay enough to your players' fathers," said Janice H. of Palo Alto, Calif.
4. "Your school found an NCAA loophole that gives Brett Favre one more year of eligibility," said Van B. of Jackson, Miss. (Really thought we had found a list that wouldn't include Favre, but no.)
3. "You won't give your quarterback a half-dozen 'strikes' before kicking him off the team. This is known as the Spurrier Rule," said Beverly M. of Gainesville, Fla.
2. "You're Miami but you no longer pay your players enough to keep up in the conference," said Ben M. of Peoria, Ill.
1. "They fear the Georgia bulldog might eat your Lassie mascot," said Don H. of Houston. (Wow, we almost got through the entire list without a direct shot at the Aggies. Almost.)
The question now is if we will compile a list next week that focuses on the woes of the University of Miami. I shudder to think what those emails might be like.