Commentary

Readers give clues to help Indy Colts

Originally Published: November 18, 2011
By Jerry Greene | Page 2

Too bad we don't keep detailed records for the Top 10 lists. If we did, we'd probably discover that the poor citizens of Indianapolis set a record for most list suggestions from a single city.

Here's one example from Charles L. of Indy: "What did we do, oh Lord? What did we do to deserve this? We've been loyal. We never said a word when Tony Dungy left and they decided there was no need to find a head coach. We've sent thousands of 'Get Well' cards to Peyton Manning and bought everything he's advertised. So what did we do, oh Lord, to deserve this? But if You are putting us on trial, won't You please give us Andrew Luck?"

Didn't have the heart to point out that there really wasn't a suggestion in there. The man is in pain. But what can the Colts do? They certainly can't win a football game, so what's left? Fortunately, you have numerous suggestions. Even better, some of them are funny. That's why we have a list.

Top 10 Suggestions for the Indianapolis Colts

10. "Petition to join the Big East," said Carey S. of Palo Alto, Calif.

9. "Hot Tub Time Machine," said Guillermo C. of Mexicali, Mexico.

8. "Declare solidarity with NBA players, take rest of season off," Janice H. of Palo Alto, Calif.

7. "Cloning! Imagine a roster with three healthy Peyton Mannings," said Craig D. of New York City.

6. "Replace Coach Jim Caldwell with a life-sized cardboard cutout. Nobody will notice," said Edward L. of Brandon, Vt.

5. "Sign Peyton Manning's other brother, Cooper. It can't hurt," Gina J. of Indianapolis.

4. To win: Acquire Tim Tebow to inspire Brett Favre; To get Andrew Luck: Hire Favre to mentor Tebow," said Mark M. of Paramus, N. J. (That is so heavy and bonus points for using Tebow and Favre. Meanwhile, note this is "The Return of Favre" to the list.)

3. "Sign Aaron Rodgers. No, silly, not that Aaron Rodgers. Just find any Aaron Rodgers. Hey, would you rather have another Curtis Painter?" said Windell B. of Indianapolis.

2. "Surely you see the curse connected to the 0-16 Detroit Lions? Drop Dan Orlovsky," said Cole L. of Indianapolis. (Well, it is true Orlovsky was the starting QB for part of that season, but winless seasons aren't contagious. Are they?)

1. "Use the bye week to hire a dozen moving vans. Wait, that would never happen … ," said Barrett B. of Fort Worth, Texas.

Come on, Barrett, the Colts would never pack up and move in the middle of the night. That's insane.

One question: Has anyone asked Andrew Luck if he wants to go to Indianapolis? If not, how about Brett Favre? We're just sayin'.

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