Readers: Things overheard at Masters

Updated: April 5, 2012, 10:36 AM ET
By Jerry Greene | Page 2

Perhaps you read the report about a man who had his coveted Masters tickets eaten by his dog? If not, Greg Hardy has the details here.

Apparently the man and his friends were given replacement tickets after sending Augusta National a photo of the upchucked tickets. But suppose they had to carry the tickets' remains with them? Imagine the conversation at the front gate:

• Attendant: "May I see your tickets please?"

• "Here they are. Want to hold them?"

• "Uh, no, you're good. Have a nice day."

And that's the kind of eavesdropped conversation that is the basis for our reader-generated list. The amazing thing about this week's entries is that the golfer mentioned most was not Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson or Rory McIlroy. No, the most mentioned golfer was John Daly. He was in Augusta on Wednesday but not preparing for the Masters. Instead he was serving as head rules official for the Hooters Wing-Eating World Championship.

To each his own.

But what else may be said this week on the hallowed grounds? You took some great guesses, included those in this week's list:

Top 10 Comments Overheard At Augusta National

10. Patron: "You know why the grass looks so great? Brett Favre was on his riding lawnmower here all week 'cause a guy has got to work, you know?" said Rickie H. of Norfolk, Va. (I know, Rickie was playing on my fondness for Favre, but what can I tell you? I'm weak.)

9. Caddie: "It's got to be 120 degrees in this jumpsuit. I'm sweating like John Daly at the wing-eating contest," said Kevin C. of Silver Spring, Md. (Told you so.)

8. Golfer after three-putt green: "Gary McCord was right about that bikini wax thing," said Joe S. of "Somewhere" in Indiana. (As a CBS commentator at the 1994 Masters, McCord said the 17th green was so fast that it must have been bikini waxed. Augusta officials smiled and sent a memo to the network -- which never brought McCord back.)

7. Angel Cabrera: "Guess how many pimento cheese sandwiches I can eat in five minutes?" said Nate M. of Lewisburg, Pa.

6. Winner: "Does that hideous jacket come in any other colors?" said Carey S. of Palo Alto, Calif.

5. Club member: "I like that Mitt Romney, but he's a tad plebian, don't you think?" said Deb W. of Foster City, Calif.

4. Caddie: "Does this white jumpsuit make by butt look fat?" said Alice A. of St. Paul, Minn.

3. Patron: "You know who I bet can really crush the ball? Tim Tebow," said Doug E. of Altamonte Springs, Fla.

2. Patron: "Is that Tiger's gallery or a waitress convention?" said Janice H. of Palo Alto, Calif.

1. Patrons: "So what do you think of your first time at Augusta National, Betty?" -- "Oh, I love it! I think I'm going to get a membership!" -- "Sit down, Betty, we've got to talk," said Bruce F. of Atlanta.

Are our readers topical or what? Well, except for Rickie H. of Norfolk 'cause Augusta National is not letting Brett Favre anywhere near its greens with a rider mower. Count on that and enjoy the tournament.

Jerry Greene is a regular contributor to He can be reached at

Back to Page 2 »

• Philbrick: Page 2's Greatest Hits, 2000-2012
• Caple: Fond memories of a road warrior
• Snibbe: An illustrated history of Page 2
Philbrick, Gallo: Farewell podcast Listen